Saturday, December 18, 2010


Did you all miss me?  I haven't really been on here in a while.  I've been busy working and such.  I hate work.  And I've come to the conclusion that I hate wrapping presents.  I'm sitting here writing this whilst I make Cameron wrap the presents for my family.   He looks like he's concentrating so hard...
Preciousness...anyways we just attempted to put a ribbon on that huge box that is my sister's present from "Santa."  Which ironically my dad bought. the wrapping paper which we have is not large enough to cover the box so cameron is using magic to finnish it up.
........Hi, this is her boyfriend and am commandeering her laptop until she cleans up the wrapping paper. Which has turned into her wrestling with her dog on top of me.and to clear my name of any misconception I am not a jerk and she is abusive to me. I will now reinstate Kristina as commander of her laptop........ I don't remember what I was going to say.  And thank God for spell check because everything up there would have been spelled so horribly wrong that you'd think an ape wrote it.  Bahahaha!  My nose is cold; I think I'm dying.

Enough of that.  Sometime soon I will have an epic picture of epicness that I drew yesterday at Regie's house when I was bored and unwanted from the rest of the group.  Possibly two pictures, but the second one is less epic.  And I know I said like a month ago that I would have a Buttwad episode up and I never put one up.  That's because I don't want to right now.  I'll start it at the beginning of the next year or something.  I don't know.  I'm done writing, so the end.

Friday, December 3, 2010

I Can't Think of a Title, So "Wallaby Farts" Will Have to do...

Right now, I pretty much hate my life.  I just checked my stats and there is a pageview from a Google Image search with the words "slutty mirror pic."  I brought this on myself I know.  Well, you know what?  I am not a slut.  And don't you forget!

Anyways, I actually got on this not to talk about me being slutty, but to say, "OH EM GEEEEEE!!!!!  THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I'VE BEEN ON MY PUTER IN A WEEEEEEEEEK!!!"  There was no reason for it really.  I just haven't felt like getting on.  I've been Christmas shopping and movie watching and watching it snow through the night.  That last sentence was very poetic.  I may or may not have shed a tear.  This post is boring.  I shall spice it up by showing you something I found to be quite hilarious.  So last week was probably the most boring week ever and all I did was play Bookworm.  Well, I was playing and I couldn't see any words to make when I saw the letters V-A-G next to each other.  I thought, "Hahaha, vag...I'm going to select them because I'm bored, there's no way it's a word."  So I selected those letters and, like I had thought, it was not a word.  And then I saw it...right next to the G...the letters I-N-A.  I just could not pass up this opportunity and clicked them to see if it would make a word...
960 points.  Yeah...I totally submitted that.  And at the end of the level they show you stats sort of.  Check this out...
It pretty much made my night...And that's the end of that story.  I'm hungry so I'm going to go eat something.

Monday, November 22, 2010


I just realized that the last post I did is filled with about a thousand typos.  Am I going to fix it?  No.  But I'd just like to let you all know that I am aware of the many mistakes unlike some of the world who makes typos and doesn't know they make typos.  That will be all...

Guys Are Disgusting

The title says it all.  Seriously, it's true.  All growing up I though it was the opposite and that guys were very neat and tidy because my dad always yelled at the soap commercials claiming that guys aren't dirty when a woman would say something about her messy husband.
Any my dad was basically God an knew everything when I was a kid...anyways, that's whole other story for another time.

The reason I'm making this post is because I don't want to get my boyfriend to get kicked out of his dorm room.  See, I was going to make a note complaining to his roommates about how disgusting they are and put it on the fridge, but Cam convinced me not to because they would complain and he'd get reported.  We don't want that, so here I am typing and drawing this lame blog post.  It's probably the laziest blog post ever.  Just a warning.

Before we begin with the complaining, let's start out with a basic introduction.

This is Mayonnaise Man.  He is probably the best of all Cameron's roommates.  He sleeps in 'til 1 everyday and he's fairly social.  We call him Mayonnaise Man because he let me use some of his mayo when I made a sandwich at the beginning of the school-year.
This is French Toast.  No one knows where he is ever, but he's not the brightest of people.  He put liquid soap in the dishwasher and gave away furniture that belonged to the dorm.  He was about 3 jugs of milk in the fridge but he opened one of Cam's because he "needed it for food."  He took up 4 of the 8 cabinets in the kitchen, borrowed on of Cam's containers for watermelon and never touched it (it fermented in the fridge, so we threw it out).  The only time we see him is when he comes in, grabs bread, and leaves.  He probably uses that bread for French Toast because it's about the only think he knows how to make.
This is Bigfoot.  We don't like him.  He's like a gigantic 40-year-old that used to live with his parents, but now he lives here.  This is probably the longest he has ever been above ground.  He replaced Pipsqueak (I miss Pipsqueak :(  ) who transfered after the 1st week of school.  I most likely scared him away.  Anyways, Bigfoot moved in around a month ago and took over the whole living area with a huge flat screen and every game console you could ever dream of.  Does he use it?  No.  Can anyone else use it?  No.  I appreciate your kindness, sir!

Now that that's settled, let's get into the complaints.

Complaint #1: Take a frickin' shower
This is mainly projected at Bigfoot.  I can smell you halfway down the hall.  Just because we never see you doesn't mean we don't know you're there.  If you didn't reek of sweat and burnt plastic, may you could blend into the environment more like you want.

Complaint #2: Take your notes
The college leaves notes and reminders for you sometimes.  Don't just leave them on the counter.  Ever wonder why you missed the housing deadline?  It's because you didn't take your stupid note. (I actually don't know if that happened, I'm just giving and example...)

Complaint #3: Do your nasty dishes
When you're done eating.  don't just put your dirty dishes in the sink and fill them with water.  Yeah, they mold and they smell.  And when you actually do the dishes, could you at least put them away?  It's rude to take up counter space that you all have to share.

Complaint #4:  Take out the trash
Cam is the only one who does this.  It's your turn.  He has stopped using the main trash can and will only use his own.  Don't fill it up until stuff overflows and then put another bag of stuff next to the trash can.  If you're willing enough to get another bag to put trash in, why can't you just take it out?

Complaint #5: Spills
When you spill something, clean it up.  Don't just leave it there on the counter.  This includes the stove and the microwave...and the floor.

Complaint #6: Learn how to use the microwave
I know you guys are too lazy to use anything other than the freezer and the microwave, but could you at least learn how to use it properly?  Certain kinds of plastic don't go in the microwave. It'll melt and send out toxic fumes and chemicals.  I hope you like the taste of cancer 'cause that's what you're eating.

Complaint #7: Say Hi
When someone in in the kitchen or living area, could you acknowledge their presence?  You just walk on by and slam the door shut.  Rude!  Nice to see you, too, jerk...

Okay, I think that's enough complaining for now.  I know none of them will ever see this, but that's okay.  At least I said something about it.  I also apologize for only having a few drawings.  I didn't know what to draw for all the complaints so I didn't :/


Oh em Weezy!  No, I did not say that because Lil Wayne just got out of prison and that he's going to be makin' some musics again...although I am pretty excited about that 0=), I said that because I have drawn and written out a new comic post for you all to enjoy! [cue happy shouts and claps]  I know none of you really care all that much, but it makes me feel better if I tell that to myself.  I would like to have it up by the end of the week.  I actually might have it up later today, but I'm giving myself a semi-large deadline just in case the space monkeys decide to shoot their lasers at me and I can't get it posted today.  I will also have the first episode of "Buttwad"  up sometime this week.  I think I'll only post one of those a month.  Too much buttwad can have a negative effect on one's health.  Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go color :)

Thursday, November 4, 2010

A Letter to My Readers

Dear Readers,
I would greatly appreciate it if you would click the "Follow" button at the top of this page here.  I would also greatly appreciate it if you would tell all of your friends out there to do the same thing.  I have a plan on something that I want to do on this here blog, but I need more people to do it.  It's somewhat interactive.  I can't have an interactive blog if you all just look at the pretty pictures and don't comment on them.  Comments are also greatly appreciated.  I need some feedback from you all!  I don't know if you like my stuff or if you hate it.  I'm not really looking for haters, though, but I'll take anything at this point.  I sound desperate.  Maybe that's because I am.  Seriously?  I only have six followers.  That needs to change.  I want more.  MORE, I TELL YOU!!!  I don't know what to do to get more followers.  I'm going to put this picture of curly fries up and hope that does the trick.
<3 xina

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

New Series?

So last week I was told by a dear friend that I should post one of the comics I started in high school.  I can't take all of the credit for it, though, because it was really more of a joint comic between Taylor Guy and I with a few guest artists.  I can't decide whether I want to post it up here or not.  The series doesn't end, but it's also VERY hard to continue due to lack of ideas.  And it's kind of complex.  It's a very dark and disturbing kind of humor.  Like the kind where you don't know if it's okay to laugh or not.  Anyways, it's "The Official Adventures of the Traveling Buttwad" comic series.  I should probably give you a background of all of this, but I feel like I can't put the background up until the first episode is up...

And this is the part of the post where I apologize for not having a comic post up on Saturday.  I was tired and relaxing and enjoying my day off.  Turns out I don't really have to work anymore (hooray), so technically I could be drawing right now instead of writing this lame apology, but I don't really feel like it.  I know what I want to make a post about, but I don't know exactly how to word it or draw it.  So I suppose I could do the Buttwad series.  Don't judge me for it.  It is spectacularly fantastic, but it's hard to follow.  I'll try to post it in a way that's easier to read than the actual notebook the episodes are in.  And with that I shall traverse upstairs to scan all of these episodes in for your reading enjoyment.

Friday, October 29, 2010

Halloween Fun Times

Well, this is boring.  I'm spending my Halloween weekend at the college I dropped out of visiting friends and watching Alfred Hitchcock's "Psycho"...I'm dressed like a Greek goddess whore
I know it's crappy quality and I look like a slutty retard, but I don't care.  Make all the judgements you want.  Yes, it's a mirror picture.  Cara took too long putting her creepy, white, eyeliner makeup on to take a picture of me so I went and took one myself.  And yes, it's taken from a cell phone.  That is my purple phone cover (NOT foreskin as my older brother would call it).
and I feel like falling asleep.  My boyfriend is gone this weekend, so I pretty much have nothing to do.  That's just dumb.  Halloween is my second favorite holiday (Valentine's Day being the first...I will explain that at a different time) and I'm doing nothing.  No one has invited me to a party...really more of a get-together because parties are for high schoolers and college students who wish they were still in high school.  And now I'm drinking a Yoo-hoo.  And now it's gone.  I can't drink things out of a box or a bag or whatever.  Juice boxes and Capri Suns are gone in less than a minute.  I am not paying any attention to this movie.  It's been a very long time since I've seen it and it's Halloween weekend so I was like, "Hey, why not watch a cheesy horror film?!  Let's watch Psycho!"  Yeah, look how that turned out.  I'm probably going to watch Paranormal Activity 2 tomorrow, though.  My mom wants to see it.  How awesome is that?  I don't want to see it because I almost fell asleep during the first one, but I want to be there if she sees it because she's probably going to cry.  Ope!  Here comes the shower scene!  Love the music! :D  Okay, I think I can go home now.  That was the only thing I needed to see.  Ugh...Cara is spewing out Psycho trivia every minute right now.  Not gonna lie, it's kind of annoying.  (Sorry, Cara.) I just want to curl up in my bed and fall asleep right now.  I've probably said that about four times now.  The movie isn't even halfway done!  Goodness gravy!  I think I'm done writing.  I can't concentrate on one thought for more than 10 seconds.  I am planning on making a new comic-type post tomorrow, though, so be excited.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Writing Craze

I feel like the only thing I've been doing lately is writing.  Like...I have had a new post almost everyday this week it seems.  I don't even know what to write, but I feel like writing.  So today, I just had the urge to find all this Christmas music.  I feel like jammin' to some holiday tunes.  I know it's not even Halloween yet, but I need me some "Winter Wonderland" and "Hark the Angels" up in here.  Cameron said he has recently acquired some classical Christmas music that I could steal from him.  That excites me.  I hope it has some Elvis in it.  I love Elvis.  Elvis Presley is the greatest man ever.  He's still alive.  The aliens abducted him before his death and since they travel at the speed of light, he doesn't get old.  He will come back some day and become the king of rock n roll again.  Goodness gravy...I feel like I just described Elvis as Jesus.  I feel bad now.  I don't know what I want for lunch tomorrow.  I've had sandwiches and soup everyday this week.  I need to find something else to eat, but there's no food in my house.  You know what?  I actually hate the contraction "there's."  But I can't just say "there is" because sometimes it doesn't make grammatical sense.  You know what I mean?  No?  Okay, nevermind then.  Why is my computer saying "nevermind" is not a word.  My whole life I have spelled it as one word.  Oh my gosh.  EPIPHANY!!!  "Nevermind" is actually two words!  I have written it in papers and stuff and never got counted off for it!  I don't understand.  I am so terribly confused right now.  Why does the world confuse me so much?  Okay, completely random thought...I am sick of the advertisements on Facebook.  Yes, I know, "Get AdBlock!"  No.  I am not getting AdBlock.  But look at these advertisements and tell me they fit me perfectly.  That was sarcasm...



Ok seriously?  Dungeons and Dragons and Second Life?  I can maybe understand the Dragons of Atlantis, but the helping kids out thing.  No.  I hate children.  And the Great Glam thing.  I don't care how I look.  Seriously...right now I'm wearing a greay, paint-covered, jump rope hoodie with black sweat pants and brown moccasins.  I'm not going to wear a pink skanky dress with 5-inch heels.  And the Navy one?  The Navy?  Pa-lease.  I hate the Navy. It's my least favorite of all the military branches.  Have you seen their NWU's?  They're frickin' purple...and that's all I have to say about that.  The other whatever it doesn't apply to me and I don't care about it.  Anyways, I need to get to bed because I have to work tomorrow and possibly next week.  I will find out tomorrow.  Hopefully tomorrow is my last day... **fingers crossed**

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

I Need to Move

As you have all probably read from the title of this post, I need to move.  I need to move to Delaware right now.  Why, you ask?  This is why...

I want to move to Delaware JUST so I can vote for Christine O'Donnell.  I know you all may not like her or anything, but I think she's awesome because of the Antoine Dodson reference.  And also because of this fantastic song Schmoyoho created...

Schmoyoho is the greatest thing on this entire planet.  I love the Gregory Brothers.  They are musical geniuses; I don't care what you say.  I had the Christine O'Donnell song stuck in my head today while making dinner and apparently I was dancing while singing it.  So my sister asked what the song was and why I was dancing.  I was like, "I was dancing?" And she said, "Yeah, like this," and proceeded to dance this dweeby dance in which she shook her butt and I don't even know, but it was the funniest thing I have seen in a very long time.  I keep getting distracted.  Why am I so ADD?  Maybe I have ADD...I don't have ADD.  I have everything else psychologically wrong with me (keep in mind that that is not professionally proven).  I need to go to bed.  I am so tired and I have to get up early in the morning.  Only two more days of work! I hope...I will shoot something if I have to work another week.  I know that you already know this from my last couple blog posts, but I don't care.  I will keep saying it until I never have to work again.  Anyways...I'm out.

Monday, October 18, 2010


Why do I only have 6 followers?  That needs to change.  Everyone who reads this blog needs to follow it.  This is an amaxing blog!  (No, I did  not spell amaxing wrong.  I spell it with an x.)  I think I'm going to make a post about all the words/phrases I've made up so you all understand better.  It's like my own Urban Dictionary but xina-ized...

amaxing: (uh-MAY-zing) adj. like amazing but ten times greater.  Kristina Hoover is so amaxing!

creeperbate: (KREE-per-bate) v. the act of pleasuring oneself while stalking someone.  Juaquin broke his leg falling out of a tree when he went to creeperbate while watching Raquel through her window.

nosferataur: (nahs-fer-AH-tar) n. a mythical being that is the vampiric form of a centaur.  Fabio battled six nosferataur in his front yard yesterday afternoon and stabbed himself in the leg.

rapelationship: (raip-LAY-shun-ship) n. a relationship between two people, usually a guy and a girl, that is forced to be in existence over time by one or more other people.  Jonas went out with his friend Terry along with his [Jonas'] girlfriend and her friend Ursula for the seventh time hoping to create a rapelationship between the two of them.

**Sigh** I can't remember all of my made-up words.  I guess this dixinary is going to have to be in different parts.  I'm really just putting this up because I feel like I haven't posted in a while.  I need to draw some stuff too.  I suppose I could update this later and put pictures to it.  But I don't want to have to draw for all of my blog posts.  It takes a lot of time and energy to do so.  Bleh, I'm so tired and bored and I just wanna go home even though I'm sitting (more like laying) on the couch in my livingroom right now.  I hate working.  I don't want to go to work tomorrow.  Or ever.  If I could just not work for the rest of my life that would be dandy.  So whoever wants to fund the rest of my life please contact me because I'm not working.  The end.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

So Bored

I am DYING over here!  Oh my gosh!  I hate working.  I don't want to work ever.  The only jobs I've ever had are little 1 week things.  I could do that.  But the whole 40+ hour week every week...nuh-uh.  I can't do that.  Work is boring.  Not that I'm trying to make work and fun the same thing.  I know there's a time for work and a time for play...but seriously, when I get home I don't want to do anything but eat.  I ate so much today that I look pregnant right now.  I am not, in case you were wondering.  Anyways, when I'm done eating I have nothing to do.  It would be a bit inconvenient to hang out with people because I'd just have to leave so I could go to bed so I could get up for work in the morning.  So I'm sitting here writing this post and thinking about things to do before I have to go to bed.  I'm actually trying to watch an episode of Destination Truth, but my internet is so slow that it's not really loading.  I need to do laundry some time too.  I don't have very many clean pairs of jeans left.  I think I have one.  And if I don't then I'll just wear nothing to work tomorrow.  Who needs pants anyways?  Not me.  Gosh, I hate pants.  Pants are almost the bane of my existence.  If I never had to wear pants again I would be content.  I need to live in Hawaii or Texas or the Outback for the rest of my life where its warm and I don't have to wear pants.  Does it get cold in the Outback?  I don't even know.  Around this time last year Brett and I decided that we were going to run away to Australia together and get a house and make Alex O'Loughlin our butler.  Oh my gosh, I love Alex O'Loughlin.  Look at his beautiful face...
I could stare at that picture for hours and be content.  I feel like putting up all the pictures I could stare at for hours and be content.  So whenever I'm feeling a bit down, I could look at this post and forget about everything in the world.

Let's start with Arsenie Todiras...
Oh man.  I am trying to breathe right now...

This SHOULD be Captain America...

I look like that monkey...

Okay, this just looks awesome! :D

And this is the last one.  I love it.  It's me...if you couldn't tell.  Probably the greatest picture ever.

And that would be all unless you want to look at this picture here which I could also stare at for hours and be content...

Sunday, October 10, 2010

On Hold

**Sigh** I regret to inform you that my blog will be on hold for about a week.  I was going to try to have a new post up every Friday, but this week I will have no time to really work on it.  Or will I have a bunch of time?  Actually, I think I might be able to have one up this weekend.  I just have to write it.  And draw pictures for it.  I might even just make a rant instead of having an illustrated post.  Disappointing.  I know.  Oh well.  My rants are still pretty interesting.  Actually, I think I'm going to rant now...about how much my life sucks...

So for the past week or so, I had been planning on eating lunch with Tracey and hanging out with Brett because Purdue's fall break is this week and they're actually home.  But Friday afternoon I get a call from my mom asking if I could work for Vera Bradley for some thing starting Monday.  I had known that they had been wanting me to work there (to basically be an assistant for a week) for quite some time, so I automatically said yes.  After I hung up the phone I realized that I would be working when I was supposed to see my friends.  What the hell.  I can't say no to Vera Bradley because of a lunch date one day and shopping another day.  It just HAD to be this week that they needed me!  I miss my T-rex and my Princess! :(  It's just not fair.  The world is punishing me for something I didn't do.  Bah!  I need to find something to eat because I'm kind of hungry...I probably won't continue this rant later, but you can keep your hopes up anyways.

Friday, October 8, 2010

Rules of the Rural

Living in rural (if you can call it rural) Indiana, I've noticed that there are a few unspoken rules that we country-folk live by.  One of these rules applies to waving.  It is common knowledge that one must wave to a man on a tractor.  No matter who he is or what he is doing, you have to wave.

The same applies to you as well.  No matter who you are or what you're doing, you have to wave.  You could be out having a grand stroll in the sun when a tractor putt-putts by.  YOU MUST WAVE!!!  You could be driving to the local university to pick up a couple friends to go to the mall when a tractor threatens to run you over.  YOU MUST WAVE!!!  You could be doing some light gardening outside when a tractor drives by.  And then drives by again...and possibly a third or fourth time.  YOU MUST WAVE!!!

And no matter what the tractor man has to wave back to you.  Sometimes, though, the tractor man will initiate the wave.  That is okay as long as you wave back.  I've never wanted to know what would happen if I didn't wave back to a man on a tractor.  Karma would most likely get the best of me and I don't even believe in Karma!  I'm pretty sure this is what would happen to me if I didn't wave back to a man on a tractor...*
*Please note that Michelleobama Rex shoots lasers out of her eyes and farts nuclear explosions

Now sometimes you will find yourself waving or being waved at by someone who is not on a tractor.  They, just like you, are a regular civilian.  And just as there are rules for waving in the country.  There are rules for waving within waving.  These rules are called sub-rules and they apply to waving to a civilian.  They are as follows:

RULE #1: No more than a straight face or slight smile is needed with the wave.
If you have any other facial expression, people might think you have an agenda of some sort and start spreading nasty rumors about you...

RULE #2: Do not shake your hand when waving.  A simple lift of the arm will suffice.
More than one shake of the hand or arm is frowned upon by country-folk.  They will think lesser of you if you do so...

RULE #3: Verbal communication is not needed.  That is coupled with a nod.
It is imperative that people know the difference between a nod and a wave.  Nods can only be used in a walking setting whereas waves can be used with any sort of transportation.  A nod with verbal communication is not an introduction to conversation.  A wave is. When someone waves and speaks to you at the same time, they usually want to keep talking.  To avoid awkward situations with people you don't know, don't talk while waving.

Okay, well I suppose that would be all.  And please note that all of these drawings are fictitious.  None of them have ever happened to me or anyone I know.  I have not, nor will I ever garden naked and people usually don't go around accusing me of such vulgar and compromising actions...The end.

Thursday, October 7, 2010


Ah!  I shouldn't be writing at this time of the night, but I've really been trying to get the next post's drawings all colored in so I could post it...later today.  It is in draft form.  I only have four more drawings to color in and then it will be ready for your hungry eyes!  I really want to give you all a preview of what it's going to be, but I feel like I'd ruin it.  It's a doozy, I promise you that!  I'm really excited about it.  You all just have no idea.  Oh!  And an after thought.  Could you all maybe tell your friends with any sense of humor whatsoever to possibly look at my blog and to press that button there that says "FOLLOW!!!"?  I would greatly appreciate that.  See, I want to be famous from this thing so I can make T-shirts! :D  Yay!  Alrighty...I think that is all.  I bid all of thee a good night!

Monday, October 4, 2010

Introduction Part V

Finally!  This is the last introduction that I will be doing.  And as you may have guessed, this introduction is about my family.  There may or may not be a person that is not included in my drawings here...but whatever.  First things first (that phrase has never made sense to me), I shall introduce you all to my sister.
This is my sister.  Her name is Angela, but I don't call her that.  See were kind of Filipino (and by kind of I mean half), so I call her Ate which is a Filipino prefix name for older sister or female cousin.  It's a respect term.  Anyways, my sister is weird.  I don't even know what she is.  She's like...hippy, mountain-folk, pioneer, farmer...thing.  She doesn't wear shoes and she thinks it's okay to wear brown and black together.  She is most definitely a proud Hoosier as she always says, "You can take a Hoosier out of Indiana, but you can't take Indiana out of a Hoosier."  I don't even know what that means.  (It's so bright, so vivid.)  Anyways, I've already kind of explained my sister in that one post about my bad mood, so I don't really feel the need to continue on about her.

Translation: I love Star Wars (written in Aurebesh)
This is Michael.  He's my big brother.  He has his sleeves flipped up 'cause he's a jerk-face (one of my biggest pet peeves is flipped shirt sleeves).  Technically he's my half-brother, but what does that half really matter?  It doesn't.  Anyways, Michael is pretty much a nerd.  About once every month he holds a nerd convention at his house.  And by "nerd convention" I mean a 7 hour Heroscape game.  Don't judge me I actually kind of enjoy playing Heroscape.  It's like nerd chess but with hexagons instead of squares...and Demon Lohans.  Demon Lohans will conquer the Earth! Anyways, he has this shirt with Animal from the Muppets on it (that's what I attempted to draw) and some dumb lady said it looked like angry Elmo.  I'd be pretty angry too if someone said I looked like Elmo.  I can't blame Animal for being so.  But yeah that's not a tumor coming out of the side of his's hair.  He's growing it out for Locks of Love (or so he says).  This does not make our dad very happy, but I suppose that's what dads are for, right?

This is my mom.  I love my mommy :) .  She's adorable and precious and tiny.  She's only 4'10", but claims she's 4'11".  She's Filipino.  And by that I mean she was born and raised in the Philippines.  She's not one of those people that says they're Filipino when they were born in the United States with Filipino parents.  So all of the rest of her family is over there still.  And with her being Filipino, she doesn't always have the greatest English and doesn't always understand what's going on.  This was a real conversation between my mom and I:

Me: "Hey, Mom, knock knock."
Mom: "Who's there?"
Me: "Owls."
Mom: "...owls?!"
Me: "No, Mom, you're supposed to say, 'Owls who?'"
Mom: "Owls who...?"
Me: "Exactly!"
Mom: "Huh?"
Me: "Owls hoo-hoo!"

We get along fairly well.  There are the occasional arguments every...week, but they don't really do any harm.  My mom is one of the senior designers for Vera Bradley.  So if you're out there carrying a Handbag, a Large Backpack (from 2009 or earlier), a Messenger, a Betsy, a Bowler, a Tote, or pretty much anything else patterned purse-wise you are carrying the creation of my mother.  You may ogle at that if you want...

This is my dad.  He looks like Santa Claus.
His favorite things in the world are airplanes, horses, woodworking, and being angry.  He doesn't like me very much.  Probably because I'm almost exactly like him and he doesn't want to admit that.  My sister is his favorite.  My mom even said that to me earlier this summer.  We don't really get along all that well.  Okay, we get along because I have to.  If I don't have to talk to my dad I won't.  There are never any arguments between my dad and I.  They would end badly.  I'm making my dad sound like the most evil man on the planet.  That's not true.  I'm not really as angry at my dad as I used to be; he is getting better with a few things.  And by that I mean he doesn't blame me as much for all of his problems.  I would explain why, but I'd really rather not.  Actually, I'm going to move on to the last introduction because I don't know what else to say...

This is my dog.  She is the spawn of the Devil.  Actually, she is the spawn of a hellhound, but got kicked out of Hell because she's brown and not black.  She's a chocolate lab and in my opinion is the dumbest chocolate lab on the face of the earth.  Okay, she's not dumb.  She's actually pretty smart; she just chooses to do what she wants instead of obeying us.  She expects us mere humans to bow down and worship all that is her grand, majestic, doggy self.  Yeah, screw that.  All she wants to do all day is play, eat, and annoy the crap out of me.  She's actually started to respond to "butthole" because we call her that so much.  It's kind of funny, but sad at the same time.  I feel like someone is going to report me for animal cruelty now because I just told the world that I call her Butthole.  It does no harm.  Her psyche is safe, I promise.

Lame Update Round 2!

You should all be proud of me that I got two introductions up yesterday.  Last night when I finished them I was like, "Hell yeah!  I got all the introductions done!" and I started working on my next comic-type post.  I was up 'til almost two writing it and drawing a few of the pictures and went to bed satisfied with myself.  This morning I woke up with the intent on making the rest of the drawings and coloring them in today when I realized that I still have one more introduction to go.  But no worries!  My deadline isn't up yet!  I still have a week to get it done and I only have 2 drawings to color in.  I should--unless some cosmic force (which is very much likely to happen) destroys my life and I can't finish it--have the last introduction up by the end of today.  Who knows, I might have the first REAL post up today as well.  I really hope so because I think it's hilarious.  I don't care if any of you find it hilarious because making myself laugh is all that really matters.  Okay, well my sister is finally out of the shower.  I went down about an hour ago to take one and she was in there so I had to wait and decided to write this in the meantime.  And with that I am off...

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Introduction Part IV

Now that you have met some of my friends (the ones I'm going to talk about mostly), it is time for you to meet my boyfriend.

This is Cameron.  He's my boyfriend.  He looks like a jerk because he never smiles, but he's probably the nicest person on this half of the world.  (Ghandi and Mother Theresa would most likely beat him in this department.)  Anyways, I didn't always think he was the nicest person ever.  Actually, I thought he was an ass and a racist bastard.  We met at Taylor's Fourth of July pool and fireworks party.  We knew each other from high school, but we had never really talked before.  Anyways, so there he was standing in Taylor's livingroom and I'm trying to make eye contact with him, but it's just not working.  Every time I go to look at him he looks away, so I decide to approach him.  I toss the last guy I was hanging on aside and walked up to him...

Usually when I'm flirting with guys they're kind enough to flirt back even if there isn't any interest there.  It's just a widely believed fact that playing along is more fun.  But with Cameron, all of the flirting was one way.  So I'm standing there basically throwing myself at him and he's trying his hardest to ignore me.  This was making me mad because NO ONE ignores me.  I ALWAYS get my way.  It's just how my extremely manipulative personality works.  Anyway, since it was kind of cold out and I (naturally) wasn't wearing pants, I had my towel that I hadn't used wrapped around myself.  Why not ask if he want's to share right?

Wrong.  He hesitantly agrees to share my towel with me.  I go to get all snuggley close and he just walks away like I'm not even there.  Where does he go?  Nowhere.  He wasn't engaged in any other conversation.  There were less than 10 people at that party.  I start to maybe think that he already has a lover of some sort and he wasn't allowed to flirt back, but then I remember Taylor talking about him a month ago saying he dumped his girlfriend.  Okay, so he's just an ass.  No worries, I've dealt with asses before, he'll be doing my every whim by the end of the night.  Anyways, so Taylor has everyone go outside because she wanted to start a bonfire.  Actually, a man named Dick was going to start said bonfire...with a blow torch.*

*Please note that Dick was NOT part of our friend group
So we're all following Dick to the brush pile.  It's pitch black out because it's almost midnight and there was no moon.  What a great opportunity to strike up a conversation with Cameron!  But every time I went to catch up with him, he walks just a little bit faster.  Now I'm thinking, "What the hell.  Why do you hate me?"  I never did anything to this kid.  He should have nothing against me, so what was up his butt?

We all get down to the brush pile and the guys say something about how the fire won't start because all of the wood is wet since it rained for a little bit.  Dick can't see what he's doing when all of a sudden Cameron whips out this handy dandy supersonic flashlight with the power of 50,000 demons inside of it.  He points it where Dick needs to see and I swear on my life a rooster crowed because it thought the sun was up.  After about 10 minutes of failed bonfire and me getting devoured by mosquitoes, Dick runs out of gas in the blow torch (not really surprising because he had it constantly running since he got it out of the garage).  Taylor is excusably upset, but leads everyone back up to the house, except no one can see her because it's hella dark out.  I'm trying to walk next to Cameron 'cause he has the demon flashlight, right?  But he doesn't turn it on.  It's like he purposefully leaves it off to make me look like a complete dumbass tripping on everything.  In a desperate attempt to save my life, yet still being too proud to ask directly for assistance, I cry out exclaiming that I can't see thinking that maybe he'll get the hint and turn on his demonlight to help the tiny, pathetic me from dying.  But no, he responds with the most racist of racist comments at me, keeps walking, and doesn't look back.

I stop in my tracks and I stand there not knowing whether to be heartbroken because the guy I'm pursuing really does hate me or pissed because I had gotten yet another racist comment toward me.  Well, since I'm not exactly the most girly of girls, anger trumps all that is involved with my heart.  Images of murdering this man flash through my demented mind and it makes me smile on the inside.  This comment was pretty much the comment that broke the camel's back.  I usually don't say anything back to racist comments because it doesn't accomplish anything, but today I decided to speak up.

Since I'm still nice I decided not to completely yell at this kid I don't know and I say, "Excuse me?!  I don't appreciate racist comments!"  He says something in response about how he's not racist and how there's black people in his family blah blah blah or something like that.  I'm not really sure because I wasn't really listening to anything he was saying because the fact that there's African Americans in his family is of no concern to me.  Just because you're friendly to black people does not mean you're not racist.  There are Asians in the world, too, and it is very much possible to be racist against them.  Anyways, after the party and what-not Cameron realized that I'm pretty much the most fantastic person in the universe and that he would basically die without me.  People ask how we met and how long we've been together.  I don't really know.  Okay, I know how we met because I've just illustrated it for you here, but I don't really know how long we've been together.  So I'm just going to say that it was July 4th.  It's a good, hearty date that I can remember.  I don't even think he knows how long.  But yeah, he's not exactly happy that I've made him look like a total ass on this thing, but I don't care.  I do what I want.  And that is all because I don't really know what else to say...