Well, this is boring. I'm spending my Halloween weekend at the college I dropped out of visiting friends and watching Alfred Hitchcock's "Psycho"...I'm dressed like a Greek goddess whore
I know it's crappy quality and I look like a slutty retard, but I don't care. Make all the judgements you want. Yes, it's a mirror picture. Cara took too long putting her creepy, white, eyeliner makeup on to take a picture of me so I went and took one myself. And yes, it's taken from a cell phone. That is my purple phone cover (NOT foreskin as my older brother would call it).
and I feel like falling asleep. My boyfriend is gone this weekend, so I pretty much have nothing to do. That's just dumb. Halloween is my second favorite holiday (Valentine's Day being the first...I will explain that at a different time) and I'm doing nothing. No one has invited me to a party...really more of a get-together because parties are for high schoolers and college students who wish they were still in high school. And now I'm drinking a Yoo-hoo. And now it's gone. I can't drink things out of a box or a bag or whatever. Juice boxes and Capri Suns are gone in less than a minute. I am not paying any attention to this movie. It's been a very long time since I've seen it and it's Halloween weekend so I was like, "Hey, why not watch a cheesy horror film?! Let's watch Psycho!" Yeah, look how that turned out. I'm probably going to watch Paranormal Activity 2 tomorrow, though. My mom wants to see it. How awesome is that? I don't want to see it because I almost fell asleep during the first one, but I want to be there if she sees it because she's probably going to cry. Ope! Here comes the shower scene! Love the music! :D Okay, I think I can go home now. That was the only thing I needed to see. Ugh...Cara is spewing out Psycho trivia every minute right now. Not gonna lie, it's kind of annoying. (Sorry, Cara.) I just want to curl up in my bed and fall asleep right now. I've probably said that about four times now. The movie isn't even halfway done! Goodness gravy! I think I'm done writing. I can't concentrate on one thought for more than 10 seconds. I am planning on making a new comic-type post tomorrow, though, so be excited.
Friday, October 29, 2010
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Writing Craze
I feel like the only thing I've been doing lately is writing. Like...I have had a new post almost everyday this week it seems. I don't even know what to write, but I feel like writing. So today, I just had the urge to find all this Christmas music. I feel like jammin' to some holiday tunes. I know it's not even Halloween yet, but I need me some "Winter Wonderland" and "Hark the Angels" up in here. Cameron said he has recently acquired some classical Christmas music that I could steal from him. That excites me. I hope it has some Elvis in it. I love Elvis. Elvis Presley is the greatest man ever. He's still alive. The aliens abducted him before his death and since they travel at the speed of light, he doesn't get old. He will come back some day and become the king of rock n roll again. Goodness gravy...I feel like I just described Elvis as Jesus. I feel bad now. I don't know what I want for lunch tomorrow. I've had sandwiches and soup everyday this week. I need to find something else to eat, but there's no food in my house. You know what? I actually hate the contraction "there's." But I can't just say "there is" because sometimes it doesn't make grammatical sense. You know what I mean? No? Okay, nevermind then. Why is my computer saying "nevermind" is not a word. My whole life I have spelled it as one word. Oh my gosh. EPIPHANY!!! "Nevermind" is actually two words! I have written it in papers and stuff and never got counted off for it! I don't understand. I am so terribly confused right now. Why does the world confuse me so much? Okay, completely random thought...I am sick of the advertisements on Facebook. Yes, I know, "Get AdBlock!" No. I am not getting AdBlock. But look at these advertisements and tell me they fit me perfectly. That was sarcasm...
Ok seriously? Dungeons and Dragons and Second Life? I can maybe understand the Dragons of Atlantis, but the helping kids out thing. No. I hate children. And the Great Glam thing. I don't care how I look. Seriously...right now I'm wearing a greay, paint-covered, jump rope hoodie with black sweat pants and brown moccasins. I'm not going to wear a pink skanky dress with 5-inch heels. And the Navy one? The Navy? Pa-lease. I hate the Navy. It's my least favorite of all the military branches. Have you seen their NWU's? They're frickin' purple...and that's all I have to say about that. The other stuff...eh whatever it doesn't apply to me and I don't care about it. Anyways, I need to get to bed because I have to work tomorrow and possibly next week. I will find out tomorrow. Hopefully tomorrow is my last day... **fingers crossed**
Ok seriously? Dungeons and Dragons and Second Life? I can maybe understand the Dragons of Atlantis, but the helping kids out thing. No. I hate children. And the Great Glam thing. I don't care how I look. Seriously...right now I'm wearing a greay, paint-covered, jump rope hoodie with black sweat pants and brown moccasins. I'm not going to wear a pink skanky dress with 5-inch heels. And the Navy one? The Navy? Pa-lease. I hate the Navy. It's my least favorite of all the military branches. Have you seen their NWU's? They're frickin' purple...and that's all I have to say about that. The other stuff...eh whatever it doesn't apply to me and I don't care about it. Anyways, I need to get to bed because I have to work tomorrow and possibly next week. I will find out tomorrow. Hopefully tomorrow is my last day... **fingers crossed**
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
I Need to Move
As you have all probably read from the title of this post, I need to move. I need to move to Delaware right now. Why, you ask? This is why...
I want to move to Delaware JUST so I can vote for Christine O'Donnell. I know you all may not like her or anything, but I think she's awesome because of the Antoine Dodson reference. And also because of this fantastic song Schmoyoho created...
Schmoyoho is the greatest thing on this entire planet. I love the Gregory Brothers. They are musical geniuses; I don't care what you say. I had the Christine O'Donnell song stuck in my head today while making dinner and apparently I was dancing while singing it. So my sister asked what the song was and why I was dancing. I was like, "I was dancing?" And she said, "Yeah, like this," and proceeded to dance this dweeby dance in which she shook her butt and I don't even know, but it was the funniest thing I have seen in a very long time. I keep getting distracted. Why am I so ADD? Maybe I have ADD...I don't have ADD. I have everything else psychologically wrong with me (keep in mind that that is not professionally proven). I need to go to bed. I am so tired and I have to get up early in the morning. Only two more days of work! I hope...I will shoot something if I have to work another week. I know that you already know this from my last couple blog posts, but I don't care. I will keep saying it until I never have to work again. Anyways...I'm out.
I want to move to Delaware JUST so I can vote for Christine O'Donnell. I know you all may not like her or anything, but I think she's awesome because of the Antoine Dodson reference. And also because of this fantastic song Schmoyoho created...
Schmoyoho is the greatest thing on this entire planet. I love the Gregory Brothers. They are musical geniuses; I don't care what you say. I had the Christine O'Donnell song stuck in my head today while making dinner and apparently I was dancing while singing it. So my sister asked what the song was and why I was dancing. I was like, "I was dancing?" And she said, "Yeah, like this," and proceeded to dance this dweeby dance in which she shook her butt and I don't even know, but it was the funniest thing I have seen in a very long time. I keep getting distracted. Why am I so ADD? Maybe I have ADD...I don't have ADD. I have everything else psychologically wrong with me (keep in mind that that is not professionally proven). I need to go to bed. I am so tired and I have to get up early in the morning. Only two more days of work! I hope...I will shoot something if I have to work another week. I know that you already know this from my last couple blog posts, but I don't care. I will keep saying it until I never have to work again. Anyways...I'm out.
Monday, October 18, 2010
Ridiculous
Why do I only have 6 followers? That needs to change. Everyone who reads this blog needs to follow it. This is an amaxing blog! (No, I did not spell amaxing wrong. I spell it with an x.) I think I'm going to make a post about all the words/phrases I've made up so you all understand better. It's like my own Urban Dictionary but xina-ized...
amaxing: (uh-MAY-zing) adj. like amazing but ten times greater. Kristina Hoover is so amaxing!
creeperbate: (KREE-per-bate) v. the act of pleasuring oneself while stalking someone. Juaquin broke his leg falling out of a tree when he went to creeperbate while watching Raquel through her window.
nosferataur: (nahs-fer-AH-tar) n. a mythical being that is the vampiric form of a centaur. Fabio battled six nosferataur in his front yard yesterday afternoon and stabbed himself in the leg.
rapelationship: (raip-LAY-shun-ship) n. a relationship between two people, usually a guy and a girl, that is forced to be in existence over time by one or more other people. Jonas went out with his friend Terry along with his [Jonas'] girlfriend and her friend Ursula for the seventh time hoping to create a rapelationship between the two of them.
**Sigh** I can't remember all of my made-up words. I guess this dixinary is going to have to be in different parts. I'm really just putting this up because I feel like I haven't posted in a while. I need to draw some stuff too. I suppose I could update this later and put pictures to it. But I don't want to have to draw for all of my blog posts. It takes a lot of time and energy to do so. Bleh, I'm so tired and bored and I just wanna go home even though I'm sitting (more like laying) on the couch in my livingroom right now. I hate working. I don't want to go to work tomorrow. Or ever. If I could just not work for the rest of my life that would be dandy. So whoever wants to fund the rest of my life please contact me because I'm not working. The end.
amaxing: (uh-MAY-zing) adj. like amazing but ten times greater. Kristina Hoover is so amaxing!
creeperbate: (KREE-per-bate) v. the act of pleasuring oneself while stalking someone. Juaquin broke his leg falling out of a tree when he went to creeperbate while watching Raquel through her window.
nosferataur: (nahs-fer-AH-tar) n. a mythical being that is the vampiric form of a centaur. Fabio battled six nosferataur in his front yard yesterday afternoon and stabbed himself in the leg.
rapelationship: (raip-LAY-shun-ship) n. a relationship between two people, usually a guy and a girl, that is forced to be in existence over time by one or more other people. Jonas went out with his friend Terry along with his [Jonas'] girlfriend and her friend Ursula for the seventh time hoping to create a rapelationship between the two of them.
**Sigh** I can't remember all of my made-up words. I guess this dixinary is going to have to be in different parts. I'm really just putting this up because I feel like I haven't posted in a while. I need to draw some stuff too. I suppose I could update this later and put pictures to it. But I don't want to have to draw for all of my blog posts. It takes a lot of time and energy to do so. Bleh, I'm so tired and bored and I just wanna go home even though I'm sitting (more like laying) on the couch in my livingroom right now. I hate working. I don't want to go to work tomorrow. Or ever. If I could just not work for the rest of my life that would be dandy. So whoever wants to fund the rest of my life please contact me because I'm not working. The end.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
So Bored
I am DYING over here! Oh my gosh! I hate working. I don't want to work ever. The only jobs I've ever had are little 1 week things. I could do that. But the whole 40+ hour week every week...nuh-uh. I can't do that. Work is boring. Not that I'm trying to make work and fun the same thing. I know there's a time for work and a time for play...but seriously, when I get home I don't want to do anything but eat. I ate so much today that I look pregnant right now. I am not, in case you were wondering. Anyways, when I'm done eating I have nothing to do. It would be a bit inconvenient to hang out with people because I'd just have to leave so I could go to bed so I could get up for work in the morning. So I'm sitting here writing this post and thinking about things to do before I have to go to bed. I'm actually trying to watch an episode of Destination Truth, but my internet is so slow that it's not really loading. I need to do laundry some time too. I don't have very many clean pairs of jeans left. I think I have one. And if I don't then I'll just wear nothing to work tomorrow. Who needs pants anyways? Not me. Gosh, I hate pants. Pants are almost the bane of my existence. If I never had to wear pants again I would be content. I need to live in Hawaii or Texas or the Outback for the rest of my life where its warm and I don't have to wear pants. Does it get cold in the Outback? I don't even know. Around this time last year Brett and I decided that we were going to run away to Australia together and get a house and make Alex O'Loughlin our butler. Oh my gosh, I love Alex O'Loughlin. Look at his beautiful face...
I could stare at that picture for hours and be content. I feel like putting up all the pictures I could stare at for hours and be content. So whenever I'm feeling a bit down, I could look at this post and forget about everything in the world.
Let's start with Arsenie Todiras...
Oh man. I am trying to breathe right now...
This SHOULD be Captain America...
I look like that monkey...
Okay, this just looks awesome! :D
And this is the last one. I love it. It's me...if you couldn't tell. Probably the greatest picture ever.
And that would be all unless you want to look at this picture here which I could also stare at for hours and be content...
I could stare at that picture for hours and be content. I feel like putting up all the pictures I could stare at for hours and be content. So whenever I'm feeling a bit down, I could look at this post and forget about everything in the world.
Let's start with Arsenie Todiras...
Oh man. I am trying to breathe right now...
This SHOULD be Captain America...
I look like that monkey...
Okay, this just looks awesome! :D
And this is the last one. I love it. It's me...if you couldn't tell. Probably the greatest picture ever.
And that would be all unless you want to look at this picture here which I could also stare at for hours and be content...
Sunday, October 10, 2010
On Hold
**Sigh** I regret to inform you that my blog will be on hold for about a week. I was going to try to have a new post up every Friday, but this week I will have no time to really work on it. Or will I have a bunch of time? Actually, I think I might be able to have one up this weekend. I just have to write it. And draw pictures for it. I might even just make a rant instead of having an illustrated post. Disappointing. I know. Oh well. My rants are still pretty interesting. Actually, I think I'm going to rant now...about how much my life sucks...
So for the past week or so, I had been planning on eating lunch with Tracey and hanging out with Brett because Purdue's fall break is this week and they're actually home. But Friday afternoon I get a call from my mom asking if I could work for Vera Bradley for some thing starting Monday. I had known that they had been wanting me to work there (to basically be an assistant for a week) for quite some time, so I automatically said yes. After I hung up the phone I realized that I would be working when I was supposed to see my friends. What the hell. I can't say no to Vera Bradley because of a lunch date one day and shopping another day. It just HAD to be this week that they needed me! I miss my T-rex and my Princess! :( It's just not fair. The world is punishing me for something I didn't do. Bah! I need to find something to eat because I'm kind of hungry...I probably won't continue this rant later, but you can keep your hopes up anyways.
So for the past week or so, I had been planning on eating lunch with Tracey and hanging out with Brett because Purdue's fall break is this week and they're actually home. But Friday afternoon I get a call from my mom asking if I could work for Vera Bradley for some thing starting Monday. I had known that they had been wanting me to work there (to basically be an assistant for a week) for quite some time, so I automatically said yes. After I hung up the phone I realized that I would be working when I was supposed to see my friends. What the hell. I can't say no to Vera Bradley because of a lunch date one day and shopping another day. It just HAD to be this week that they needed me! I miss my T-rex and my Princess! :( It's just not fair. The world is punishing me for something I didn't do. Bah! I need to find something to eat because I'm kind of hungry...I probably won't continue this rant later, but you can keep your hopes up anyways.
Friday, October 8, 2010
Rules of the Rural
Living in rural (if you can call it rural) Indiana, I've noticed that there are a few unspoken rules that we country-folk live by. One of these rules applies to waving. It is common knowledge that one must wave to a man on a tractor. No matter who he is or what he is doing, you have to wave.
The same applies to you as well. No matter who you are or what you're doing, you have to wave. You could be out having a grand stroll in the sun when a tractor putt-putts by. YOU MUST WAVE!!! You could be driving to the local university to pick up a couple friends to go to the mall when a tractor threatens to run you over. YOU MUST WAVE!!! You could be doing some light gardening outside when a tractor drives by. And then drives by again...and possibly a third or fourth time. YOU MUST WAVE!!!
And no matter what the tractor man has to wave back to you. Sometimes, though, the tractor man will initiate the wave. That is okay as long as you wave back. I've never wanted to know what would happen if I didn't wave back to a man on a tractor. Karma would most likely get the best of me and I don't even believe in Karma! I'm pretty sure this is what would happen to me if I didn't wave back to a man on a tractor...*
*Please note that Michelleobama Rex shoots lasers out of her eyes and farts nuclear explosions
Now sometimes you will find yourself waving or being waved at by someone who is not on a tractor. They, just like you, are a regular civilian. And just as there are rules for waving in the country. There are rules for waving within waving. These rules are called sub-rules and they apply to waving to a civilian. They are as follows:
RULE #1: No more than a straight face or slight smile is needed with the wave.
If you have any other facial expression, people might think you have an agenda of some sort and start spreading nasty rumors about you...
RULE #2: Do not shake your hand when waving. A simple lift of the arm will suffice.
More than one shake of the hand or arm is frowned upon by country-folk. They will think lesser of you if you do so...
RULE #3: Verbal communication is not needed. That is coupled with a nod.
It is imperative that people know the difference between a nod and a wave. Nods can only be used in a walking setting whereas waves can be used with any sort of transportation. A nod with verbal communication is not an introduction to conversation. A wave is. When someone waves and speaks to you at the same time, they usually want to keep talking. To avoid awkward situations with people you don't know, don't talk while waving.
Okay, well I suppose that would be all. And please note that all of these drawings are fictitious. None of them have ever happened to me or anyone I know. I have not, nor will I ever garden naked and people usually don't go around accusing me of such vulgar and compromising actions...The end.
The same applies to you as well. No matter who you are or what you're doing, you have to wave. You could be out having a grand stroll in the sun when a tractor putt-putts by. YOU MUST WAVE!!! You could be driving to the local university to pick up a couple friends to go to the mall when a tractor threatens to run you over. YOU MUST WAVE!!! You could be doing some light gardening outside when a tractor drives by. And then drives by again...and possibly a third or fourth time. YOU MUST WAVE!!!
And no matter what the tractor man has to wave back to you. Sometimes, though, the tractor man will initiate the wave. That is okay as long as you wave back. I've never wanted to know what would happen if I didn't wave back to a man on a tractor. Karma would most likely get the best of me and I don't even believe in Karma! I'm pretty sure this is what would happen to me if I didn't wave back to a man on a tractor...*
*Please note that Michelleobama Rex shoots lasers out of her eyes and farts nuclear explosions
Now sometimes you will find yourself waving or being waved at by someone who is not on a tractor. They, just like you, are a regular civilian. And just as there are rules for waving in the country. There are rules for waving within waving. These rules are called sub-rules and they apply to waving to a civilian. They are as follows:
RULE #1: No more than a straight face or slight smile is needed with the wave.
If you have any other facial expression, people might think you have an agenda of some sort and start spreading nasty rumors about you...
RULE #2: Do not shake your hand when waving. A simple lift of the arm will suffice.
More than one shake of the hand or arm is frowned upon by country-folk. They will think lesser of you if you do so...
RULE #3: Verbal communication is not needed. That is coupled with a nod.
It is imperative that people know the difference between a nod and a wave. Nods can only be used in a walking setting whereas waves can be used with any sort of transportation. A nod with verbal communication is not an introduction to conversation. A wave is. When someone waves and speaks to you at the same time, they usually want to keep talking. To avoid awkward situations with people you don't know, don't talk while waving.
Okay, well I suppose that would be all. And please note that all of these drawings are fictitious. None of them have ever happened to me or anyone I know. I have not, nor will I ever garden naked and people usually don't go around accusing me of such vulgar and compromising actions...The end.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Rawr!
Ah! I shouldn't be writing at this time of the night, but I've really been trying to get the next post's drawings all colored in so I could post it...later today. It is in draft form. I only have four more drawings to color in and then it will be ready for your hungry eyes! I really want to give you all a preview of what it's going to be, but I feel like I'd ruin it. It's a doozy, I promise you that! I'm really excited about it. You all just have no idea. Oh! And an after thought. Could you all maybe tell your friends with any sense of humor whatsoever to possibly look at my blog and to press that button there that says "FOLLOW!!!"? I would greatly appreciate that. See, I want to be famous from this thing so I can make T-shirts! :D Yay! Alrighty...I think that is all. I bid all of thee a good night!
Monday, October 4, 2010
Introduction Part V
Finally! This is the last introduction that I will be doing. And as you may have guessed, this introduction is about my family. There may or may not be a person that is not included in my drawings here...but whatever. First things first (that phrase has never made sense to me), I shall introduce you all to my sister.
This is my sister. Her name is Angela, but I don't call her that. See were kind of Filipino (and by kind of I mean half), so I call her Ate which is a Filipino prefix name for older sister or female cousin. It's a respect term. Anyways, my sister is weird. I don't even know what she is. She's like...hippy, mountain-folk, pioneer, farmer...thing. She doesn't wear shoes and she thinks it's okay to wear brown and black together. She is most definitely a proud Hoosier as she always says, "You can take a Hoosier out of Indiana, but you can't take Indiana out of a Hoosier." I don't even know what that means. (It's so bright, so vivid.) Anyways, I've already kind of explained my sister in that one post about my bad mood, so I don't really feel the need to continue on about her.
Translation: I love Star Wars (written in Aurebesh)
This is Michael. He's my big brother. He has his sleeves flipped up 'cause he's a jerk-face (one of my biggest pet peeves is flipped shirt sleeves). Technically he's my half-brother, but what does that half really matter? It doesn't. Anyways, Michael is pretty much a nerd. About once every month he holds a nerd convention at his house. And by "nerd convention" I mean a 7 hour Heroscape game. Don't judge me I actually kind of enjoy playing Heroscape. It's like nerd chess but with hexagons instead of squares...and Demon Lohans. Demon Lohans will conquer the Earth! Anyways, he has this shirt with Animal from the Muppets on it (that's what I attempted to draw) and some dumb lady said it looked like angry Elmo. I'd be pretty angry too if someone said I looked like Elmo. I can't blame Animal for being so. But yeah that's not a tumor coming out of the side of his head...it's hair. He's growing it out for Locks of Love (or so he says). This does not make our dad very happy, but I suppose that's what dads are for, right?
This is my mom. I love my mommy :) . She's adorable and precious and tiny. She's only 4'10", but claims she's 4'11". She's Filipino. And by that I mean she was born and raised in the Philippines. She's not one of those people that says they're Filipino when they were born in the United States with Filipino parents. So all of the rest of her family is over there still. And with her being Filipino, she doesn't always have the greatest English and doesn't always understand what's going on. This was a real conversation between my mom and I:
Me: "Hey, Mom, knock knock."
Mom: "Who's there?"
Me: "Owls."
Mom: "...owls?!"
Me: "No, Mom, you're supposed to say, 'Owls who?'"
Mom: "Owls who...?"
Me: "Exactly!"
Mom: "Huh?"
Me: "Owls hoo...like hoo-hoo!"
We get along fairly well. There are the occasional arguments every...week, but they don't really do any harm. My mom is one of the senior designers for Vera Bradley. So if you're out there carrying a Handbag, a Large Backpack (from 2009 or earlier), a Messenger, a Betsy, a Bowler, a Tote, or pretty much anything else patterned purse-wise you are carrying the creation of my mother. You may ogle at that if you want...
This is my dad. He looks like Santa Claus.
His favorite things in the world are airplanes, horses, woodworking, and being angry. He doesn't like me very much. Probably because I'm almost exactly like him and he doesn't want to admit that. My sister is his favorite. My mom even said that to me earlier this summer. We don't really get along all that well. Okay, we get along because I have to. If I don't have to talk to my dad I won't. There are never any arguments between my dad and I. They would end badly. I'm making my dad sound like the most evil man on the planet. That's not true. I'm not really as angry at my dad as I used to be; he is getting better with a few things. And by that I mean he doesn't blame me as much for all of his problems. I would explain why, but I'd really rather not. Actually, I'm going to move on to the last introduction because I don't know what else to say...
This is my sister. Her name is Angela, but I don't call her that. See were kind of Filipino (and by kind of I mean half), so I call her Ate which is a Filipino prefix name for older sister or female cousin. It's a respect term. Anyways, my sister is weird. I don't even know what she is. She's like...hippy, mountain-folk, pioneer, farmer...thing. She doesn't wear shoes and she thinks it's okay to wear brown and black together. She is most definitely a proud Hoosier as she always says, "You can take a Hoosier out of Indiana, but you can't take Indiana out of a Hoosier." I don't even know what that means. (It's so bright, so vivid.) Anyways, I've already kind of explained my sister in that one post about my bad mood, so I don't really feel the need to continue on about her.
Translation: I love Star Wars (written in Aurebesh)
This is Michael. He's my big brother. He has his sleeves flipped up 'cause he's a jerk-face (one of my biggest pet peeves is flipped shirt sleeves). Technically he's my half-brother, but what does that half really matter? It doesn't. Anyways, Michael is pretty much a nerd. About once every month he holds a nerd convention at his house. And by "nerd convention" I mean a 7 hour Heroscape game. Don't judge me I actually kind of enjoy playing Heroscape. It's like nerd chess but with hexagons instead of squares...and Demon Lohans. Demon Lohans will conquer the Earth! Anyways, he has this shirt with Animal from the Muppets on it (that's what I attempted to draw) and some dumb lady said it looked like angry Elmo. I'd be pretty angry too if someone said I looked like Elmo. I can't blame Animal for being so. But yeah that's not a tumor coming out of the side of his head...it's hair. He's growing it out for Locks of Love (or so he says). This does not make our dad very happy, but I suppose that's what dads are for, right?
This is my mom. I love my mommy :) . She's adorable and precious and tiny. She's only 4'10", but claims she's 4'11". She's Filipino. And by that I mean she was born and raised in the Philippines. She's not one of those people that says they're Filipino when they were born in the United States with Filipino parents. So all of the rest of her family is over there still. And with her being Filipino, she doesn't always have the greatest English and doesn't always understand what's going on. This was a real conversation between my mom and I:
Me: "Hey, Mom, knock knock."
Mom: "Who's there?"
Me: "Owls."
Mom: "...owls?!"
Me: "No, Mom, you're supposed to say, 'Owls who?'"
Mom: "Owls who...?"
Me: "Exactly!"
Mom: "Huh?"
Me: "Owls hoo...like hoo-hoo!"
We get along fairly well. There are the occasional arguments every...week, but they don't really do any harm. My mom is one of the senior designers for Vera Bradley. So if you're out there carrying a Handbag, a Large Backpack (from 2009 or earlier), a Messenger, a Betsy, a Bowler, a Tote, or pretty much anything else patterned purse-wise you are carrying the creation of my mother. You may ogle at that if you want...
This is my dad. He looks like Santa Claus.
His favorite things in the world are airplanes, horses, woodworking, and being angry. He doesn't like me very much. Probably because I'm almost exactly like him and he doesn't want to admit that. My sister is his favorite. My mom even said that to me earlier this summer. We don't really get along all that well. Okay, we get along because I have to. If I don't have to talk to my dad I won't. There are never any arguments between my dad and I. They would end badly. I'm making my dad sound like the most evil man on the planet. That's not true. I'm not really as angry at my dad as I used to be; he is getting better with a few things. And by that I mean he doesn't blame me as much for all of his problems. I would explain why, but I'd really rather not. Actually, I'm going to move on to the last introduction because I don't know what else to say...
This is my dog. She is the spawn of the Devil. Actually, she is the spawn of a hellhound, but got kicked out of Hell because she's brown and not black. She's a chocolate lab and in my opinion is the dumbest chocolate lab on the face of the earth. Okay, she's not dumb. She's actually pretty smart; she just chooses to do what she wants instead of obeying us. She expects us mere humans to bow down and worship all that is her grand, majestic, doggy self. Yeah, screw that. All she wants to do all day is play, eat, and annoy the crap out of me. She's actually started to respond to "butthole" because we call her that so much. It's kind of funny, but sad at the same time. I feel like someone is going to report me for animal cruelty now because I just told the world that I call her Butthole. It does no harm. Her psyche is safe, I promise.
Lame Update Round 2!
You should all be proud of me that I got two introductions up yesterday. Last night when I finished them I was like, "Hell yeah! I got all the introductions done!" and I started working on my next comic-type post. I was up 'til almost two writing it and drawing a few of the pictures and went to bed satisfied with myself. This morning I woke up with the intent on making the rest of the drawings and coloring them in today when I realized that I still have one more introduction to go. But no worries! My deadline isn't up yet! I still have a week to get it done and I only have 2 drawings to color in. I should--unless some cosmic force (which is very much likely to happen) destroys my life and I can't finish it--have the last introduction up by the end of today. Who knows, I might have the first REAL post up today as well. I really hope so because I think it's hilarious. I don't care if any of you find it hilarious because making myself laugh is all that really matters. Okay, well my sister is finally out of the shower. I went down about an hour ago to take one and she was in there so I had to wait and decided to write this in the meantime. And with that I am off...
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Introduction Part IV
Now that you have met some of my friends (the ones I'm going to talk about mostly), it is time for you to meet my boyfriend.
This is Cameron. He's my boyfriend. He looks like a jerk because he never smiles, but he's probably the nicest person on this half of the world. (Ghandi and Mother Theresa would most likely beat him in this department.) Anyways, I didn't always think he was the nicest person ever. Actually, I thought he was an ass and a racist bastard. We met at Taylor's Fourth of July pool and fireworks party. We knew each other from high school, but we had never really talked before. Anyways, so there he was standing in Taylor's livingroom and I'm trying to make eye contact with him, but it's just not working. Every time I go to look at him he looks away, so I decide to approach him. I toss the last guy I was hanging on aside and walked up to him...
Usually when I'm flirting with guys they're kind enough to flirt back even if there isn't any interest there. It's just a widely believed fact that playing along is more fun. But with Cameron, all of the flirting was one way. So I'm standing there basically throwing myself at him and he's trying his hardest to ignore me. This was making me mad because NO ONE ignores me. I ALWAYS get my way. It's just how my extremely manipulative personality works. Anyway, since it was kind of cold out and I (naturally) wasn't wearing pants, I had my towel that I hadn't used wrapped around myself. Why not ask if he want's to share right?
Wrong. He hesitantly agrees to share my towel with me. I go to get all snuggley close and he just walks away like I'm not even there. Where does he go? Nowhere. He wasn't engaged in any other conversation. There were less than 10 people at that party. I start to maybe think that he already has a lover of some sort and he wasn't allowed to flirt back, but then I remember Taylor talking about him a month ago saying he dumped his girlfriend. Okay, so he's just an ass. No worries, I've dealt with asses before, he'll be doing my every whim by the end of the night. Anyways, so Taylor has everyone go outside because she wanted to start a bonfire. Actually, a man named Dick was going to start said bonfire...with a blow torch.*
*Please note that Dick was NOT part of our friend group
So we're all following Dick to the brush pile. It's pitch black out because it's almost midnight and there was no moon. What a great opportunity to strike up a conversation with Cameron! But every time I went to catch up with him, he walks just a little bit faster. Now I'm thinking, "What the hell. Why do you hate me?" I never did anything to this kid. He should have nothing against me, so what was up his butt?
We all get down to the brush pile and the guys say something about how the fire won't start because all of the wood is wet since it rained for a little bit. Dick can't see what he's doing when all of a sudden Cameron whips out this handy dandy supersonic flashlight with the power of 50,000 demons inside of it. He points it where Dick needs to see and I swear on my life a rooster crowed because it thought the sun was up. After about 10 minutes of failed bonfire and me getting devoured by mosquitoes, Dick runs out of gas in the blow torch (not really surprising because he had it constantly running since he got it out of the garage). Taylor is excusably upset, but leads everyone back up to the house, except no one can see her because it's hella dark out. I'm trying to walk next to Cameron 'cause he has the demon flashlight, right? But he doesn't turn it on. It's like he purposefully leaves it off to make me look like a complete dumbass tripping on everything. In a desperate attempt to save my life, yet still being too proud to ask directly for assistance, I cry out exclaiming that I can't see thinking that maybe he'll get the hint and turn on his demonlight to help the tiny, pathetic me from dying. But no, he responds with the most racist of racist comments at me, keeps walking, and doesn't look back.
I stop in my tracks and I stand there not knowing whether to be heartbroken because the guy I'm pursuing really does hate me or pissed because I had gotten yet another racist comment toward me. Well, since I'm not exactly the most girly of girls, anger trumps all that is involved with my heart. Images of murdering this man flash through my demented mind and it makes me smile on the inside. This comment was pretty much the comment that broke the camel's back. I usually don't say anything back to racist comments because it doesn't accomplish anything, but today I decided to speak up.
Since I'm still nice I decided not to completely yell at this kid I don't know and I say, "Excuse me?! I don't appreciate racist comments!" He says something in response about how he's not racist and how there's black people in his family blah blah blah or something like that. I'm not really sure because I wasn't really listening to anything he was saying because the fact that there's African Americans in his family is of no concern to me. Just because you're friendly to black people does not mean you're not racist. There are Asians in the world, too, and it is very much possible to be racist against them. Anyways, after the party and what-not Cameron realized that I'm pretty much the most fantastic person in the universe and that he would basically die without me. People ask how we met and how long we've been together. I don't really know. Okay, I know how we met because I've just illustrated it for you here, but I don't really know how long we've been together. So I'm just going to say that it was July 4th. It's a good, hearty date that I can remember. I don't even think he knows how long. But yeah, he's not exactly happy that I've made him look like a total ass on this thing, but I don't care. I do what I want. And that is all because I don't really know what else to say...
Introduction Part III
So I lied in my last post. I have four people that I'm going to talk about. It would be five, but I don't feel like writing about that person. I really should replace that fifth person with someone else that I have recently been hanging out with a lot, but I'll just have to draw him later.
The first part of this friend introduction will go to none other than the Cara Bolley...
The first part of this friend introduction will go to none other than the Cara Bolley...
This is Cara. I love her. She is most definitely one of my best friends which is weird to say because I don't like girls. Cara is the epitome of accident-prone. I swear I have never been with her for a time that she hasn't gotten injured in some way. It's generally hilarious to both her, insiders, and outsiders. She also dresses like a hooker sometimes...but that's fine. No one really cares. Cara is almost like a little sister to me even though she's practically my age. She's so innocent without being innocent...it's precious. If you want to follow her blog you should do so by clicking this here --> Cara's Blog
This is Fabio. His real name is Ehren, but I don't care. I shall never call him Ehren. He is now and forever will be Fabio. He used to have long, beautiful, flowing hair like the Italian male model Fabio, so I called him Fabio. But he just decided to join the Marines (which is fraking AWESOME, by the way) and they took it all away. He's actually still away at basic as far as I know. I miss him quite terribly. I may or may not have gotten paid a dollar to let him slam me up against his car and kiss me his last night here before basic...but I digress. Fabio likes swords and very dark, perverted humor. And yes, you can combine those into one disturbing sexual joke like he would. He owes me a few things. Like: Mario Kart for my Wii, A centaur drawing he made, a piece of artwork his mom offered me, and one formal occasion. We were supposed to go to his prom, but what does he do? He claims he feels on edge and cancels on me. LAME!!! I was so upset. You just don't even know...
This is Taylor. She's my wife. We're married. Not for rizzle, but figuratively just like Brett and I are married. I'm a polygamist and I'm damn proud of it! I have 4 husbands and 2 wives. I am proud to say that Taylor is my favorite wife. We're planning on running away to Canada and getting married for real :P haha...not really, but that would kind of be awesome. I would totally marry a woman just to say that I did it even though I'm not a lesbian. Anyways, Taylor is in the United States Air Force. She actually graduated from basic a few days ago. That's why I have her all dressed up in a uniform. I'm not entirely sure what it's supposed to look like, so I kind of guessed. But yeah, before she left for basic we would hang out all the time. The only things we would do would be go to Burger King with Brett, watch Supernatural (greatest show EVER!!!), and watch movies. Movies are very important to Taylor. She has seen most likely over 1000 movies in her entire lifetime and she's only 19. She was making a list of movies she's seen. It's a bit ridiculous but totally awesome at the same time. But yeah...I think I'll move on to the last person...
This is Tracey. I know her drawing is a bit messed up, but I couldn't really fix it and it bothers me. Tracey is a flirt. She's fantastic. And if you couldn't tell from the drawing she also goes to Purdue. Purdue has pretty much taken the world away from me. I need to go there. Get a major in fashion design and make the world my oyster so I can put pretty pearls on all of my clothes. But I love Tracey. She's my T-rex :) . I've tried to help her with her math homework, but it just doesn't work. Numbers make sense to me. Equations don't. I feel like I'm getting really distracted on this section of the introduction. Oh well, all you really need to know is what she looks like. I think I'm going to work on my next introduction. I'm almost done with it. I just need to color in a few more things and I'm all set. Whoo!
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