I'm Really for Realz a Boilermaker

I scheduled my classes today. I am in the class of 2015. I will never graduate from college. I can tell you that right now. Today, I wanted to die. It was one of the worst days of my life. The past couple months made me think that maybe...just maybe I don't actually do everything wrong. But today, it was proven that that isn't so. I want to die right now. I want to curl up in a ball and die. And I know that I've been saying that for the past couple posts, but right now I feel it the strongest. I don't want your positive talk. I don't want you to tell me everything will be okay or that things always work out. They don't. Today, things may have finally worked out, but I still feel like the biggest failure on the entire planet. I'm not so sure I'm ready to go back to school. People freak me out and I end up making a fool of myself. I look retarded. I feel retarded. I'm only an inch tall hoping for a foot to come smashing down on top of me. Crushing me and scraping every fiber of my being into the cold, rough cement. But the foot never comes. And it makes me feel worse. I am so alone. And there's no one to go to. I apologize if that offends you, but it's just so difficult for me to relate to/trust people. Dearest Justin Storie, thank you for being a bright, shiny object of laughter in my dismal sucky day. And with that I will go so I can finish this infernal book so I can start on another one.