Sad Day of Frisbee Failure

Today I was shamefully reminded of the fact that I am not athletic. I never have been and never will be. I have tried so hard to be athletic, but I epically fail at it. My boyfriend's church plays ultimate frisbee. I was asked to play and since I haven't really been doing much exercising lately, I stupidly agreed. Well guess what, I suck. I suck so bad that I sat out most of the game. I might as well have had a huge sign on my shirt saying "WORST PLAYER OF ULTIMATE FRISBEE! NEVER THROW IN THIS DIRECTION! AND NEVER PUT INTO GAME!" The frisbee was thrown in my direction. I caught 3/4 thrown to me, but failed to block all but one of the passes thrown to the person I was blocking. I can't jump and I sure as hell can't run. I learned that the hard way by joining track in 8th grade. I cried because I lost so much...of course that was when I was home and not during/after the meets. My coach put me on the 800-meter...and ONLY the 800-meter. She tried to put me on high jump because apparently a person who can jump over a 2-centimeter rope can jump backwards over a 3-foot high pole. No. Definitely didn't happen. She tried to put me on long jump. Didn't happen. Thankfully she didn't put me on hurdles. I can't sprint and having to jump over things at the same time would have been the biggest fail anyone has ever seen in their entire lives. I have no idea how I passed my gym classes. Actually, I got a C in my college gym class. I think secondary education gym teachers felt so bad for me that they just passed me. I can't do anything athletic with balls either(please don't take that dirtily). In 7th grade I tried out for the volleyball team. I had such bad hand-eye coordination that I could never actually HIT the ball to serve it. And when I did, it would fall about 5 feet in front of me. I made 2nd-to-last cuts though surprisingly. Another time in 7th grade we had to join the guy's gym class. They were doing baseball. Their gym teacher made me sit out 'cause I couldn't hit the ball. When it was my turn to bat, he'd hit the ball and make me run. I was always the third out anyways. In 3rd grade, I had this strange dream of becoming a professional basketball player. I could never make a basket. My sister would always make fun of me for this. That dream quickly went down the toilet. In 5th grade I signed up for football day-camp at my church. The leader didn't have anywhere else to put me because I sucked so much, so he put me on center. That was the only thing I could do. I could hike a ball better than the rest of the kids...and for that I will always be proud. But the biggest fail of my whole non-athletic life would have to be jump rope. I tried to join a jump rope team in 2nd grade. I wasn't good enough. It took me a whole year to actually get the tricks down to make tryouts. I was on that team for almost 8 years when it ended. And in those 8 years, I only progressed as much as Chinese did to landing on the moon. Everyone else in the jump rope world was better than me. I almost always got last place and I'm pretty sure the judges hated me just because I was a waste of their time. The times I did get first place was by default. I have 14 "gold" metals. All of them were because no one else was competing against me. They're like pity metals. "Oh, you did your best and you showed up without scratching. Sooooooo...here's a gold metal for you because you participated." Thanks. I'll wear it with glowing pride. That was sarcastic. Jump rope was my life, though. I sucked at it so much, but I wouldn't know what to do with myself if I didn't go. All my coaches were like, "You have so much potential! You just have to believe in yourself!" I'm sorry, but false motivation does not work on me. I may have had potential, but I am so unbalanced and uncoordinated that I couldn't make magic happen even if I tried. And there is no point to "believing in yourself." It's all bullshit. Every word. My progress was no better when I thought I could do it to when I thought I couldn't do it. I just can't be athletic. I wasn't built for it. I don't think I'm going to go to the next ultimate frisbee game. I'd rather spare what little dignity I have left. Six other girls showed up today other than me, so they won't even need me. I'll sit at home reading and drawing and writing. That's something that I can unshamefully-ish do...