This is a TRUE Break of a Hiatus

Okay, this stupid blog needs to stop asking me to post this to Google+ because I'm not going to post this to Google+. Anyway, I know it's been over a year since I last updated this blog (I think) and I want to get back into it. I've had three days off from work which is immensely crazy in two ways. One, I actually got three days off in a row. And two, I've been going nuts trying to figure out what to do. So whilst being bored and watching LA Ink on Netflix, I decided to whip out my handy-dandy sketch book and just start doodling away. I haven't done that in the longest time. I just don't have time to do it anymore which is really discouraging. I know I'm not the best doodler out there, but sometimes drawing really makes me feel better. To be honest, I feel like I'm getting better at realistic drawings, yet I also feel like I'm getting worse at the comic/cartoon part. I'm still definitely better at making cartoon figures than making something look like it came straight off the camera. I don't know. Anyway, as I was drawing away looking at the super cool tattoos on the TV, I decided to look for my old blogging binder that housed all of my drawings that I had scanned or needed to scan for this here blog. And I found it! I mean I knew exactly where it was, but I had forgotten all of the awesome things that I had put inside of it. I found this weird little comic that I think I drew in one of my art classes (I scanned it and was going to post it, but I didn't realize that it cut off the bottom three inches until now and I'm too lazy to get up and re-scan it) that I wanted to post. And I also thought of this sweet-o neat-o idea. I want to cross-stitch some of my drawings. WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!?!?!?! Yes. And just in case you're going to ask (which I know you won't because at this point NOBODY reads this thing) yes, I know how to cross-stitch and yes, I love it. I learned how to do it in my high school crafts class that I took as a BS class to fill up time and I've been wanting to actually make something and hang them all over my nifty apartment because the walls are bare and figured that I could make patterns of my drawings and when people see them they can be all like, "Whoa, man, that's so frickin' cool! I wish I had some of those sweet-o neat-o cross-stitchy artworks hanging up on my wall!" That was the longest run-on sentence I have ever made. Also, yes my friends would talk like that because I'm pretty sure that most of them are high all the time. And to answer your other question: no, I am not high all the time, I am not high now, nor have I ever been high. I know some of you might find that surprising, but I really have no plan on using drugs. Hugs not drugs, kids. Anyway I think I'm going to skedaddle and leave you with a drawing of a little cat that I named Sebastian and a little fox that I named Foxy :)

Breaking the Hiatus

I am nearly positive that nobody reads my blog anymore. That is mostly my fault since I haven't posted anything in quite some time. Anyway, I am here to talk about the greatest game on the internet...ever. Felicia Day had mentioned something about it in one of her Flogs (which I don't watch, but one of my friends does) and now I am hooked on it. It's like Telestrations but online with millions of people. My drawings aren't the best considering I have to draw everything with my stupid little trackpad. But anyway it's really a lot of fun and if you're not playing it I highly recommend that you do! If you want to check out my profile and my drawings, you can look at it here. I suppose that's all I wanted to say so I bid thee a farewell...

Titles Are for Those Who Have Time to Think of One...

So I'm sitting here before my English class begins. I just realized I'm wearing socks with moccasins. Totally meant to wear actual shoes today. Anyway, I have just wanted to let you all know that I am going to try to start comicing again soon. Probably not this week since I work so much, but soon. I do have an idea for a rage comic, but I wouldn't want to post that here. Or maybe I will. I don't know. My ears are cold. Oh! I got my new driver's license today! It looks terrible, but I don't really think that matters since I'm going to get a new one in six months. Unless they use the same picture o_O I don't know why I'm writing here today. There's not really much to report. I shall continue later!

Thank God for my Parents

In all my years, I never thought I would say those words. This month and last month have definitely been the hardest on me financially. There have been more unexpected expenses in the last two months that have just drained me of everything I have. I owe my parents so much now and I am so thankful for them. Especially my dad (definitely NEVER thought I would say those words). Thank you God for the father you have given me. As most of you know, I've been struggling with God for...most of my life. More so after I went to Huntington. Huntington was the worst thing that could ever happen with my relationship with God and for the past two years, I am ashamed to say that He was nearly absent in my life. Well, this year, as a bit of a resolution, I decided that I need to get back to Him. I started out small with prayers throughout the day and I tried a different approach with praise instead of just "Hello...I'm walking to class and talking to You at the same time..." And it worked. For the first two weeks of class I felt better and things were going well until Doubt came in. I started thinking that God is only helping me for now and that soon it'll go back to the way it was where I'm ignored. And as soon as that happened, everything started going wrong. I got angry, reclusive, and stressed. But last night I got that song stuck in my head that goes "I will cast all of my cares upon You..." I don't really know the rest of the song, but I tried it as hard as it was to do it. Trust is so hard, but I have what I need now. I just really hope that this one resolution is one that I stick to...

Pink Bullets and Billy Mays

My finger keeps hitting the caps lock button and my other finger keeps hitting the semi-colon instead of the letter "l" and it's kind of annoying. Anyway, I have about 5 minutes before I need to head to class. I don't entirely remember what classroom number it is, but I'll figure it out. I am so happy that I don't have to work until Friday. I want some days to do nothing...except I won't be able to do that because I'll have homework. So just a random thought, I hate statistics. I don't understand it and we haven't even gotten into the numbers part yet. But I shall have to finish this post later so I can get my shoes and coat on and head to class...

2012: When the World Ends Before It Begins

So I know this post is about 12 days to late to really be talking about the new year, but I haven't really had the urge to write until today. And it's not so much an urge as it is a you-should-write-because-you-haven't-in-a-while. Well, here I am writing. I should be comic-ing, I know. I actually had one drawn up, but I seem to have misplaced my markers and haven't had the funds to buy new ones. It sounds REALLY lame, but I was $200 short on paying rent let alone bills last month and this month will probably turn out similar. They've been cutting everyone's hours at work and it's really hurting me. I won't be able to buy books this semester. And of course it's the semester that I actually need to have the books unlike last semester where the teachers said we needed to get the books, but we really didn't. I don't know what to do. There are a lot of things I need to get for the house and myself also, but I don't know how that's going to happen. I just got gas today too...I hate money and the need for money. I should be getting to bed soon.

Unfortunate Friends

I haven't posted anything in quite some time and I apologize for that. If you haven't heard the news from someone, Cam and I are now engaged. The funny thing is that the happiest person about this isn't Cam...or me; It's my brother :P haha. But that sad thing is...through this big, momentous happening, I've found out just how little friends I (/we) have. I know I've said before that I don't have friends, but now it's like, "Wow...I really don't have friends..." There have only been about 10 people that have congratulated us. That's including family. Granted, it's not like Cam and I have been together for all that long or have been notorious for being the "oh they're totally going to get married some day" couple-without-being-a-couple. But honestly it really upsets me that no one cares. Probably one of the biggest and most hurtful is that a person I've known since the second grade and that I have considered one of my best friends for that long, and whom I live with hasn't said one word to me. I know she knows about it. There's no way she doesn't. But would it kill her to even ask if it's real? And another person whom I would consider a best friend has talked to me, but seems like they're ignoring the fact that it happened. This really makes things difficult planning-wise. Most of you know that I don't have many girl friends. Never have. I just don't get along with girls. But the two girls that have been some of the closest girl friends to me and whom I would put in the wedding party haven't said one thing. It just really seems like they don't care about me. I'm not going to ask someone to be there for me on one of the biggest days of my life if they could care less about it. Who am I going to make my bridesmaids? It's really stressful because Cam already knows everyone who he wants to be his groomsmen...and I don't have anyone. I have one person. Brett. The greatest best friend anyone could ever have. But my dad doesn't want Brett to stand on my side. That's another thing. My dad. He doesn't seem too happy about this whole thing. He still wants to hang on to me forever (which is weird because he has never showed any sort of affection toward me). I don't want my dad to give me away. I never have. Ever since I was little, I had always wanted my big brother Michael to give me away. He's been more there for me than my dad ever has, is, or ever will be. But my dad won't let that happen. I feel like...just how everything else in my life...this wedding has to be for my dad's approval. This isn't going to be Cameron and My day, it's going to be my dad's. I have to pretty much settle for Michael being an usher...and I have to put Mark in it. I don't want Mark in my wedding. I barely know him. I lived with him for 2 years during school. Most of which I was either at jump rope practice, with Brett, or shut in my room. And then for another year which I was either out with friends, working, with Cam, or shut in my room. He isn't anything to me. Sure I care about it. He's starting to feel more like a family member, but not enough to put him in my wedding. I suggested making him the person that passes out programs or something, but of course to Dad, that just doesn't cut it. Where else am I going to put him? Also, my dad doesn't approve of the attire. Both Cameron and I want everyone in the wedding party to wear chucks. But no, Dad doesn't like it. We wanted a restaurant to cater for the reception, but nope. Dad knows a guy who can cater. Since he (and I use that very loosely) is paying for this wedding, I suppose he does have some say in the food, but I don't want him to pick and choose who my closest friends are. He's controlled me for this long, but I really just want to put my foot down this time. Yes, I don't have very many friends. I only have 2 people who can be my maids and one of them is waaaaaay up in the air, but I don't want my dad to put people in my life that have never really...been in my life. This is supposed to be one of the most memorable days of my life. I want to remember it as the best day ever. Not a day where I put on a happy face and pretend everything is okay. I do that every day. And it's not how I want the beginning of the rest of my life.