Thank God for my Parents

In all my years, I never thought I would say those words. This month and last month have definitely been the hardest on me financially. There have been more unexpected expenses in the last two months that have just drained me of everything I have. I owe my parents so much now and I am so thankful for them. Especially my dad (definitely NEVER thought I would say those words). Thank you God for the father you have given me. As most of you know, I've been struggling with God for...most of my life. More so after I went to Huntington. Huntington was the worst thing that could ever happen with my relationship with God and for the past two years, I am ashamed to say that He was nearly absent in my life. Well, this year, as a bit of a resolution, I decided that I need to get back to Him. I started out small with prayers throughout the day and I tried a different approach with praise instead of just "Hello...I'm walking to class and talking to You at the same time..." And it worked. For the first two weeks of class I felt better and things were going well until Doubt came in. I started thinking that God is only helping me for now and that soon it'll go back to the way it was where I'm ignored. And as soon as that happened, everything started going wrong. I got angry, reclusive, and stressed. But last night I got that song stuck in my head that goes "I will cast all of my cares upon You..." I don't really know the rest of the song, but I tried it as hard as it was to do it. Trust is so hard, but I have what I need now. I just really hope that this one resolution is one that I stick to...

Pink Bullets and Billy Mays

My finger keeps hitting the caps lock button and my other finger keeps hitting the semi-colon instead of the letter "l" and it's kind of annoying. Anyway, I have about 5 minutes before I need to head to class. I don't entirely remember what classroom number it is, but I'll figure it out. I am so happy that I don't have to work until Friday. I want some days to do nothing...except I won't be able to do that because I'll have homework. So just a random thought, I hate statistics. I don't understand it and we haven't even gotten into the numbers part yet. But I shall have to finish this post later so I can get my shoes and coat on and head to class...

2012: When the World Ends Before It Begins

So I know this post is about 12 days to late to really be talking about the new year, but I haven't really had the urge to write until today. And it's not so much an urge as it is a you-should-write-because-you-haven't-in-a-while. Well, here I am writing. I should be comic-ing, I know. I actually had one drawn up, but I seem to have misplaced my markers and haven't had the funds to buy new ones. It sounds REALLY lame, but I was $200 short on paying rent let alone bills last month and this month will probably turn out similar. They've been cutting everyone's hours at work and it's really hurting me. I won't be able to buy books this semester. And of course it's the semester that I actually need to have the books unlike last semester where the teachers said we needed to get the books, but we really didn't. I don't know what to do. There are a lot of things I need to get for the house and myself also, but I don't know how that's going to happen. I just got gas today too...I hate money and the need for money. I should be getting to bed soon.

Unfortunate Friends

I haven't posted anything in quite some time and I apologize for that. If you haven't heard the news from someone, Cam and I are now engaged. The funny thing is that the happiest person about this isn't Cam...or me; It's my brother :P haha. But that sad thing is...through this big, momentous happening, I've found out just how little friends I (/we) have. I know I've said before that I don't have friends, but now it's like, "Wow...I really don't have friends..." There have only been about 10 people that have congratulated us. That's including family. Granted, it's not like Cam and I have been together for all that long or have been notorious for being the "oh they're totally going to get married some day" couple-without-being-a-couple. But honestly it really upsets me that no one cares. Probably one of the biggest and most hurtful is that a person I've known since the second grade and that I have considered one of my best friends for that long, and whom I live with hasn't said one word to me. I know she knows about it. There's no way she doesn't. But would it kill her to even ask if it's real? And another person whom I would consider a best friend has talked to me, but seems like they're ignoring the fact that it happened. This really makes things difficult planning-wise. Most of you know that I don't have many girl friends. Never have. I just don't get along with girls. But the two girls that have been some of the closest girl friends to me and whom I would put in the wedding party haven't said one thing. It just really seems like they don't care about me. I'm not going to ask someone to be there for me on one of the biggest days of my life if they could care less about it. Who am I going to make my bridesmaids? It's really stressful because Cam already knows everyone who he wants to be his groomsmen...and I don't have anyone. I have one person. Brett. The greatest best friend anyone could ever have. But my dad doesn't want Brett to stand on my side. That's another thing. My dad. He doesn't seem too happy about this whole thing. He still wants to hang on to me forever (which is weird because he has never showed any sort of affection toward me). I don't want my dad to give me away. I never have. Ever since I was little, I had always wanted my big brother Michael to give me away. He's been more there for me than my dad ever has, is, or ever will be. But my dad won't let that happen. I feel like...just how everything else in my life...this wedding has to be for my dad's approval. This isn't going to be Cameron and My day, it's going to be my dad's. I have to pretty much settle for Michael being an usher...and I have to put Mark in it. I don't want Mark in my wedding. I barely know him. I lived with him for 2 years during school. Most of which I was either at jump rope practice, with Brett, or shut in my room. And then for another year which I was either out with friends, working, with Cam, or shut in my room. He isn't anything to me. Sure I care about it. He's starting to feel more like a family member, but not enough to put him in my wedding. I suggested making him the person that passes out programs or something, but of course to Dad, that just doesn't cut it. Where else am I going to put him? Also, my dad doesn't approve of the attire. Both Cameron and I want everyone in the wedding party to wear chucks. But no, Dad doesn't like it. We wanted a restaurant to cater for the reception, but nope. Dad knows a guy who can cater. Since he (and I use that very loosely) is paying for this wedding, I suppose he does have some say in the food, but I don't want him to pick and choose who my closest friends are. He's controlled me for this long, but I really just want to put my foot down this time. Yes, I don't have very many friends. I only have 2 people who can be my maids and one of them is waaaaaay up in the air, but I don't want my dad to put people in my life that have never really...been in my life. This is supposed to be one of the most memorable days of my life. I want to remember it as the best day ever. Not a day where I put on a happy face and pretend everything is okay. I do that every day. And it's not how I want the beginning of the rest of my life.

Common Sense Needs an Operator's Manuel

Famous Letters: WBC

I have decided to indeed start my "Famous Letters" series that I talked about in my post yesterday. I actually was not going to start out the series by writing to the Westboro Church, but since I've read two Facebook statuses involving them today, I decided to look them up. I knew who they were (obviously...they make themselves well known and have actually been in the town in which I was raised), but I didn't quite know everything that their little establishment was all about other than protesting against homosexuals and American soldiers (both of which irk me to no end. I could literally cry from both anger and sadness from their ignorance because of this).  Back to looking them up, I type in "westboro church" in my address bar and their website godhatesfags.com pops up. I could literally spend hours ranting about that alone, but I won't. Anyway, I have decided to email them and not send a letter. They would probably come to my house and stand outside of it for hours shouting about how I'm going to hell because I wrote on paper and I'm sure paper promotes/encourages homosexuality. Anyway, I was looking through their "GodSmack" blog and I just could NOT hold it in anymore. I want to know where they are getting their ideas. Read this, please. It's one of their "GodSmacks"...

Catholic Girl’s Silly Idols

AMAZING!  CATHOLIC CHURCH IN NEBRASKA DEFENDS GIRLS RIGHT OF RELIGIOUS FREEDOM AND EXPRESSION!

A 12-year-old was banned from wearing her rosary idol at school because gangs had adopted the rosary as their symbol.  “I’m wearing a cross necklace, a cross T-shirt and a cross bracelet.  I’m thinking of how Jesus died on the cross and how he gave up all his sins for us.”  WTF!?!  Omaha Archdiocese said, “the corruption of something as beloved as the rosary disgusts the church.”

[T]hey are mad upon their idols.  (Jer. 50:38.)

GodSmack!

These are they who put WBC on trial for standing on the Doomed american flag. 

How shall I pardon thee for this? thy children have forsaken me, and sworn by them that are no gods:  … Shall I not visit for these things? saith the LORD: and shall not my soul be avenged on such a nation as this?  (Jer. 5:7&9).

I love how it says "WTF?!" in the middle of this post. That is very professional. I love how in their contact us it says that they won't respond to profanity and yet they use it themselves. Guess what, WBC, "what the fuck" is profanity. Okay, I just read their "About Us" page and I am literally crying. I have a bloody nose. I cannot tell you that last time that I got a bloody nose, but I can't help but feel like it was meant to get me away from my computer to not send this letter. I highly doubt that it will be responded to, but if it does then it should be a doozie! Okay here it is:

Dear WBC,

Just as a background, I am a 20-year-old student at Purdue University. I have been struggling with God for about a year (or two) now and I have some questions. I know that personal messages are not guaranteed, but if you do happen to respond, I would like to keep it confidential. If that is totally not an option then, I'd be okay with a response on your blog. I also apologize in advance in my questions sound "foolish and unlearned." I am curious and genuinely confused and would like to know more about your religion.

My first question: Do you consider your religion to be of the Christian faith? I wasn't quite sure since your denomination is Baptist which is of the Christian faith, but some of your beliefs by definition aren't Christian. If you do consider yourself a part of Christianity, I have more questions. I thought that Christianity was supposed to be the safe-haven. The place where people could go without being condemned. Where they could be loved. I don't find that here and it makes me scared.

Second question: Is God really hateful? I was always taught that God is love. I noticed that most of your supporting verses are from the Old Testament where God was more wrathful than He was in the New Testament. Does your religion not believe in John 3:16 and 17? Both of those verses seem to go against a lot of your ideology wherein God is Hate and that He wants to condemn the world. I can't help but see similarities between your god and the god of Islam where Allah is very angry and wrathful.

Third question: Jesus is part of the Bible, but I didn't read anywhere on your "About Us" page that said anything about believing that He is the Son of God. Do you not believe in Jesus being the Christ? Jesus' teachings were all about following his example. Loving everyone and not judging people were part of these examples. These topics also contradict your beliefs. Does this mean that God contradicts Himself? How does that make your religion any different than the other contradicting religions in the world?

Fourth question: Is your religion only based on sexual impurities?

Fifth question: Why do you use so many ellipses in your Bible quotes?

Thank you for your time. I apologize again if any of my questions were offensive.

Love,

Kristina

In the Next Four Days

I'm supposed to be finishing up my childhood diary in four days. I told myself I would write in it once a month to finish it up and complete ten years of my life. That never happened. I kind of wish I would have though. There are some very interesting things in there, but not much has happened since I've stopped writing in it. And honestly, this blog has become more of my diary now. I really don't write anything different in here than I would in there. But I'm really only writing this post so you know I'm still alive. I know no one reads this, but it's almost been a month. I would like you to know that I have an idea for a mini-series (I'm still not sure if I want to go through with it or not) and I have an idea for my next comic. I really liked my last one where I had panels. I think I'm going to stick with it. I'm trying to come up with a comic idea that I can continue (kind of like the buttwad series I never posted), but I'm really out of ideas. I actually do want to put buttwad up here, but I might have to redraw them all so they're easy to understand and not on lined notebook paper. I don't know when I'll have time to do all of this until I'm out of college, but I really do want to post it up here. There are so many ideas that I have for this blog, but I can never go through with them because I don't have a large enough viewing community! :( It makes me so sad. If only I could be famous and have a million followers. I'd have the 2 series I've been wanting to start. I'd have a shop and be rich because of it. In a way I feel like I should make a separate blog and ONLY post comics up there...or I could just reorganize this one. I could label them. I don't know. Hopefully tomorrow I can start drawing my next comic. I don't know when I'll have time to make more. I think I'm going to go now...