On Hold

**Sigh** I regret to inform you that my blog will be on hold for about a week.  I was going to try to have a new post up every Friday, but this week I will have no time to really work on it.  Or will I have a bunch of time?  Actually, I think I might be able to have one up this weekend.  I just have to write it.  And draw pictures for it.  I might even just make a rant instead of having an illustrated post.  Disappointing.  I know.  Oh well.  My rants are still pretty interesting.  Actually, I think I'm going to rant now...about how much my life sucks...


So for the past week or so, I had been planning on eating lunch with Tracey and hanging out with Brett because Purdue's fall break is this week and they're actually home.  But Friday afternoon I get a call from my mom asking if I could work for Vera Bradley for some thing starting Monday.  I had known that they had been wanting me to work there (to basically be an assistant for a week) for quite some time, so I automatically said yes.  After I hung up the phone I realized that I would be working when I was supposed to see my friends.  What the hell.  I can't say no to Vera Bradley because of a lunch date one day and shopping another day.  It just HAD to be this week that they needed me!  I miss my T-rex and my Princess! :(  It's just not fair.  The world is punishing me for something I didn't do.  Bah!  I need to find something to eat because I'm kind of hungry...I probably won't continue this rant later, but you can keep your hopes up anyways.

Rules of the Rural

Living in rural (if you can call it rural) Indiana, I've noticed that there are a few unspoken rules that we country-folk live by.  One of these rules applies to waving.  It is common knowledge that one must wave to a man on a tractor.  No matter who he is or what he is doing, you have to wave.

The same applies to you as well.  No matter who you are or what you're doing, you have to wave.  You could be out having a grand stroll in the sun when a tractor putt-putts by.  YOU MUST WAVE!!!  You could be driving to the local university to pick up a couple friends to go to the mall when a tractor threatens to run you over.  YOU MUST WAVE!!!  You could be doing some light gardening outside when a tractor drives by.  And then drives by again...and possibly a third or fourth time.  YOU MUST WAVE!!!

And no matter what the tractor man has to wave back to you.  Sometimes, though, the tractor man will initiate the wave.  That is okay as long as you wave back.  I've never wanted to know what would happen if I didn't wave back to a man on a tractor.  Karma would most likely get the best of me and I don't even believe in Karma!  I'm pretty sure this is what would happen to me if I didn't wave back to a man on a tractor...*

*Please note that Michelleobama Rex shoots lasers out of her eyes and farts nuclear explosions


Now sometimes you will find yourself waving or being waved at by someone who is not on a tractor.  They, just like you, are a regular civilian.  And just as there are rules for waving in the country.  There are rules for waving within waving.  These rules are called sub-rules and they apply to waving to a civilian.  They are as follows:


RULE #1: No more than a straight face or slight smile is needed with the wave.
If you have any other facial expression, people might think you have an agenda of some sort and start spreading nasty rumors about you...

RULE #2: Do not shake your hand when waving.  A simple lift of the arm will suffice.
More than one shake of the hand or arm is frowned upon by country-folk.  They will think lesser of you if you do so...

RULE #3: Verbal communication is not needed.  That is coupled with a nod.
It is imperative that people know the difference between a nod and a wave.  Nods can only be used in a walking setting whereas waves can be used with any sort of transportation.  A nod with verbal communication is not an introduction to conversation.  A wave is. When someone waves and speaks to you at the same time, they usually want to keep talking.  To avoid awkward situations with people you don't know, don't talk while waving.

Okay, well I suppose that would be all.  And please note that all of these drawings are fictitious.  None of them have ever happened to me or anyone I know.  I have not, nor will I ever garden naked and people usually don't go around accusing me of such vulgar and compromising actions...The end.

Rawr!

Ah!  I shouldn't be writing at this time of the night, but I've really been trying to get the next post's drawings all colored in so I could post it...later today.  It is in draft form.  I only have four more drawings to color in and then it will be ready for your hungry eyes!  I really want to give you all a preview of what it's going to be, but I feel like I'd ruin it.  It's a doozy, I promise you that!  I'm really excited about it.  You all just have no idea.  Oh!  And an after thought.  Could you all maybe tell your friends with any sense of humor whatsoever to possibly look at my blog and to press that button there that says "FOLLOW!!!"?  I would greatly appreciate that.  See, I want to be famous from this thing so I can make T-shirts! :D  Yay!  Alrighty...I think that is all.  I bid all of thee a good night!

Introduction Part V

Finally!  This is the last introduction that I will be doing.  And as you may have guessed, this introduction is about my family.  There may or may not be a person that is not included in my drawings here...but whatever.  First things first (that phrase has never made sense to me), I shall introduce you all to my sister.

This is my sister.  Her name is Angela, but I don't call her that.  See were kind of Filipino (and by kind of I mean half), so I call her Ate which is a Filipino prefix name for older sister or female cousin.  It's a respect term.  Anyways, my sister is weird.  I don't even know what she is.  She's like...hippy, mountain-folk, pioneer, farmer...thing.  She doesn't wear shoes and she thinks it's okay to wear brown and black together.  She is most definitely a proud Hoosier as she always says, "You can take a Hoosier out of Indiana, but you can't take Indiana out of a Hoosier."  I don't even know what that means.  (It's so bright, so vivid.)  Anyways, I've already kind of explained my sister in that one post about my bad mood, so I don't really feel the need to continue on about her.

Translation: I love Star Wars (written in Aurebesh)
This is Michael.  He's my big brother.  He has his sleeves flipped up 'cause he's a jerk-face (one of my biggest pet peeves is flipped shirt sleeves).  Technically he's my half-brother, but what does that half really matter?  It doesn't.  Anyways, Michael is pretty much a nerd.  About once every month he holds a nerd convention at his house.  And by "nerd convention" I mean a 7 hour Heroscape game.  Don't judge me I actually kind of enjoy playing Heroscape.  It's like nerd chess but with hexagons instead of squares...and Demon Lohans.  Demon Lohans will conquer the Earth! Anyways, he has this shirt with Animal from the Muppets on it (that's what I attempted to draw) and some dumb lady said it looked like angry Elmo.  I'd be pretty angry too if someone said I looked like Elmo.  I can't blame Animal for being so.  But yeah that's not a tumor coming out of the side of his head...it's hair.  He's growing it out for Locks of Love (or so he says).  This does not make our dad very happy, but I suppose that's what dads are for, right?

This is my mom.  I love my mommy :) .  She's adorable and precious and tiny.  She's only 4'10", but claims she's 4'11".  She's Filipino.  And by that I mean she was born and raised in the Philippines.  She's not one of those people that says they're Filipino when they were born in the United States with Filipino parents.  So all of the rest of her family is over there still.  And with her being Filipino, she doesn't always have the greatest English and doesn't always understand what's going on.  This was a real conversation between my mom and I:


Me: "Hey, Mom, knock knock."
Mom: "Who's there?"
Me: "Owls."
Mom: "...owls?!"
Me: "No, Mom, you're supposed to say, 'Owls who?'"
Mom: "Owls who...?"
Me: "Exactly!"
Mom: "Huh?"
Me: "Owls hoo...like hoo-hoo!"


We get along fairly well.  There are the occasional arguments every...week, but they don't really do any harm.  My mom is one of the senior designers for Vera Bradley.  So if you're out there carrying a Handbag, a Large Backpack (from 2009 or earlier), a Messenger, a Betsy, a Bowler, a Tote, or pretty much anything else patterned purse-wise you are carrying the creation of my mother.  You may ogle at that if you want...

This is my dad.  He looks like Santa Claus.

His favorite things in the world are airplanes, horses, woodworking, and being angry.  He doesn't like me very much.  Probably because I'm almost exactly like him and he doesn't want to admit that.  My sister is his favorite.  My mom even said that to me earlier this summer.  We don't really get along all that well.  Okay, we get along because I have to.  If I don't have to talk to my dad I won't.  There are never any arguments between my dad and I.  They would end badly.  I'm making my dad sound like the most evil man on the planet.  That's not true.  I'm not really as angry at my dad as I used to be; he is getting better with a few things.  And by that I mean he doesn't blame me as much for all of his problems.  I would explain why, but I'd really rather not.  Actually, I'm going to move on to the last introduction because I don't know what else to say...

This is my dog.  She is the spawn of the Devil.  Actually, she is the spawn of a hellhound, but got kicked out of Hell because she's brown and not black.  She's a chocolate lab and in my opinion is the dumbest chocolate lab on the face of the earth.  Okay, she's not dumb.  She's actually pretty smart; she just chooses to do what she wants instead of obeying us.  She expects us mere humans to bow down and worship all that is her grand, majestic, doggy self.  Yeah, screw that.  All she wants to do all day is play, eat, and annoy the crap out of me.  She's actually started to respond to "butthole" because we call her that so much.  It's kind of funny, but sad at the same time.  I feel like someone is going to report me for animal cruelty now because I just told the world that I call her Butthole.  It does no harm.  Her psyche is safe, I promise.

Lame Update Round 2!

You should all be proud of me that I got two introductions up yesterday.  Last night when I finished them I was like, "Hell yeah!  I got all the introductions done!" and I started working on my next comic-type post.  I was up 'til almost two writing it and drawing a few of the pictures and went to bed satisfied with myself.  This morning I woke up with the intent on making the rest of the drawings and coloring them in today when I realized that I still have one more introduction to go.  But no worries!  My deadline isn't up yet!  I still have a week to get it done and I only have 2 drawings to color in.  I should--unless some cosmic force (which is very much likely to happen) destroys my life and I can't finish it--have the last introduction up by the end of today.  Who knows, I might have the first REAL post up today as well.  I really hope so because I think it's hilarious.  I don't care if any of you find it hilarious because making myself laugh is all that really matters.  Okay, well my sister is finally out of the shower.  I went down about an hour ago to take one and she was in there so I had to wait and decided to write this in the meantime.  And with that I am off...

Introduction Part IV

Now that you have met some of my friends (the ones I'm going to talk about mostly), it is time for you to meet my boyfriend.

This is Cameron.  He's my boyfriend.  He looks like a jerk because he never smiles, but he's probably the nicest person on this half of the world.  (Ghandi and Mother Theresa would most likely beat him in this department.)  Anyways, I didn't always think he was the nicest person ever.  Actually, I thought he was an ass and a racist bastard.  We met at Taylor's Fourth of July pool and fireworks party.  We knew each other from high school, but we had never really talked before.  Anyways, so there he was standing in Taylor's livingroom and I'm trying to make eye contact with him, but it's just not working.  Every time I go to look at him he looks away, so I decide to approach him.  I toss the last guy I was hanging on aside and walked up to him...

Usually when I'm flirting with guys they're kind enough to flirt back even if there isn't any interest there.  It's just a widely believed fact that playing along is more fun.  But with Cameron, all of the flirting was one way.  So I'm standing there basically throwing myself at him and he's trying his hardest to ignore me.  This was making me mad because NO ONE ignores me.  I ALWAYS get my way.  It's just how my extremely manipulative personality works.  Anyway, since it was kind of cold out and I (naturally) wasn't wearing pants, I had my towel that I hadn't used wrapped around myself.  Why not ask if he want's to share right?

Wrong.  He hesitantly agrees to share my towel with me.  I go to get all snuggley close and he just walks away like I'm not even there.  Where does he go?  Nowhere.  He wasn't engaged in any other conversation.  There were less than 10 people at that party.  I start to maybe think that he already has a lover of some sort and he wasn't allowed to flirt back, but then I remember Taylor talking about him a month ago saying he dumped his girlfriend.  Okay, so he's just an ass.  No worries, I've dealt with asses before, he'll be doing my every whim by the end of the night.  Anyways, so Taylor has everyone go outside because she wanted to start a bonfire.  Actually, a man named Dick was going to start said bonfire...with a blow torch.*

*Please note that Dick was NOT part of our friend group

So we're all following Dick to the brush pile.  It's pitch black out because it's almost midnight and there was no moon.  What a great opportunity to strike up a conversation with Cameron!  But every time I went to catch up with him, he walks just a little bit faster.  Now I'm thinking, "What the hell.  Why do you hate me?"  I never did anything to this kid.  He should have nothing against me, so what was up his butt?

We all get down to the brush pile and the guys say something about how the fire won't start because all of the wood is wet since it rained for a little bit.  Dick can't see what he's doing when all of a sudden Cameron whips out this handy dandy supersonic flashlight with the power of 50,000 demons inside of it.  He points it where Dick needs to see and I swear on my life a rooster crowed because it thought the sun was up.  After about 10 minutes of failed bonfire and me getting devoured by mosquitoes, Dick runs out of gas in the blow torch (not really surprising because he had it constantly running since he got it out of the garage).  Taylor is excusably upset, but leads everyone back up to the house, except no one can see her because it's hella dark out.  I'm trying to walk next to Cameron 'cause he has the demon flashlight, right?  But he doesn't turn it on.  It's like he purposefully leaves it off to make me look like a complete dumbass tripping on everything.  In a desperate attempt to save my life, yet still being too proud to ask directly for assistance, I cry out exclaiming that I can't see thinking that maybe he'll get the hint and turn on his demonlight to help the tiny, pathetic me from dying.  But no, he responds with the most racist of racist comments at me, keeps walking, and doesn't look back.

I stop in my tracks and I stand there not knowing whether to be heartbroken because the guy I'm pursuing really does hate me or pissed because I had gotten yet another racist comment toward me.  Well, since I'm not exactly the most girly of girls, anger trumps all that is involved with my heart.  Images of murdering this man flash through my demented mind and it makes me smile on the inside.  This comment was pretty much the comment that broke the camel's back.  I usually don't say anything back to racist comments because it doesn't accomplish anything, but today I decided to speak up.

Since I'm still nice I decided not to completely yell at this kid I don't know and I say, "Excuse me?!  I don't appreciate racist comments!"  He says something in response about how he's not racist and how there's black people in his family blah blah blah or something like that.  I'm not really sure because I wasn't really listening to anything he was saying because the fact that there's African Americans in his family is of no concern to me.  Just because you're friendly to black people does not mean you're not racist.  There are Asians in the world, too, and it is very much possible to be racist against them.  Anyways, after the party and what-not Cameron realized that I'm pretty much the most fantastic person in the universe and that he would basically die without me.  People ask how we met and how long we've been together.  I don't really know.  Okay, I know how we met because I've just illustrated it for you here, but I don't really know how long we've been together.  So I'm just going to say that it was July 4th.  It's a good, hearty date that I can remember.  I don't even think he knows how long.  But yeah, he's not exactly happy that I've made him look like a total ass on this thing, but I don't care.  I do what I want.  And that is all because I don't really know what else to say...

Introduction Part III

So I lied in my last post.  I have four people that I'm going to talk about.  It would be five, but I don't feel like writing about that person.  I really should replace that fifth person with someone else that I have recently been hanging out with a lot, but I'll just have to draw him later.


The first part of this friend introduction will go to none other than the Cara Bolley...

This is Cara.  I love her.  She is most definitely one of my best friends which is weird to say because I don't like girls.  Cara is the epitome of accident-prone.  I swear I have never been with her  for a time that she hasn't gotten injured in some way.  It's generally hilarious to both her, insiders, and outsiders. She also dresses like a hooker sometimes...but that's fine.  No one really cares.  Cara is almost like a little sister to me even though she's practically my age.  She's so innocent without being innocent...it's precious.  If you want to follow her blog you should do so by clicking this here --> Cara's Blog

This is Fabio.  His real name is Ehren, but I don't care.  I shall never call him Ehren.  He is now and forever will be Fabio.  He used to have long, beautiful, flowing hair like the Italian male model Fabio, so I called him Fabio.  But he just decided to join the Marines (which is fraking AWESOME, by the way) and they took it all away.  He's actually still away at basic as far as I know. I miss him quite terribly.  I may or may not have gotten paid a dollar to let him slam me up against his car and kiss me his last night here before basic...but I digress.  Fabio likes swords and very dark, perverted humor.  And yes, you can combine those into one disturbing sexual joke like he would.  He owes me a few things.  Like: Mario Kart for my Wii, A centaur drawing he made, a piece of artwork his mom offered me, and one formal occasion.  We were supposed to go to his prom, but what does he do?  He claims he feels on edge and cancels on me.  LAME!!!  I was so upset.  You just don't even know...

This is Taylor.  She's my wife.  We're married.  Not for rizzle, but figuratively just like Brett and I are married.  I'm a polygamist and I'm damn proud of it!  I have 4 husbands and 2 wives.  I am proud to say that Taylor is my favorite wife.  We're planning on running away to Canada and getting married for real :P haha...not really, but that would kind of be awesome.  I would totally marry a woman just to say that I did it even though I'm not a lesbian.  Anyways, Taylor is in the United States Air Force.  She actually graduated from basic a few days ago.  That's why I have her all dressed up in a uniform.  I'm not entirely sure what it's supposed to look like, so I kind of guessed.  But yeah, before she left for basic we would hang out all the time.  The only things we would do would be go to Burger King with Brett, watch Supernatural (greatest show EVER!!!), and watch movies.  Movies are very important to Taylor.  She has seen most likely over 1000 movies in her entire lifetime and she's only 19.  She was making a list of movies she's seen.  It's a bit ridiculous but totally awesome at the same time.  But yeah...I think I'll move on to the last person...

This is Tracey.  I know her drawing is a bit messed up, but I couldn't really fix it and it bothers me.  Tracey is a flirt.  She's fantastic.  And if you couldn't tell from the drawing she also goes to Purdue.  Purdue has pretty much taken the world away from me.  I need to go there.  Get a major in fashion design and make the world my oyster so I can put pretty pearls on all of my clothes.  But I love Tracey.  She's my T-rex :) .  I've tried to help her with her math homework, but it just doesn't work.  Numbers make sense to me.  Equations don't.  I feel like I'm getting really distracted on this section of the introduction.  Oh well, all you really need to know is what she looks like.  I think I'm going to work on my next introduction.  I'm almost done with it.  I just need to color in a few more things and I'm all set.  Whoo!